Skip to content

Can I pay a family member to care for me in the UK? An In-Depth Guide

6 min read

According to a 2021 Census, 5.7 million people in the UK provide unpaid care for a loved one. When considering the option of financial compensation, many people ask: can I pay a family member to care for me in the UK? The answer is more complex than a simple yes or no, depending heavily on how the care is funded.

Quick Summary

You can pay a family member for care in the UK, but the process and legality differ based on whether funding comes from private savings or council-led Direct Payments. Specific rules apply to close relatives living in the same household and to those lacking mental capacity.

Key Points

  • Private Funding vs. Direct Payments: Paying a family member is simpler with private funds, but requires legal employment responsibilities; using council-funded Direct Payments is restricted, especially for close co-habiting relatives.

  • Direct Payments Exceptions: A local council may permit paying a close family member living with you under 'exceptional circumstances,' such as for medical or psychological reasons, but it requires explicit approval.

  • Becoming an Employer: Paying a family member means you take on employer responsibilities, including registering with HMRC for PAYE, managing tax and National Insurance, and creating a formal employment contract.

  • Legal Oversight for Incapacity: If the care recipient lacks mental capacity, a Deputy or Attorney must seek permission from the Court of Protection to pay a family member, with payments subject to OPG guidance.

  • Benefits Implications: Receiving a wage for care can affect both the care recipient's financial assessment for council support and the family carer's eligibility for means-tested benefits like Carer's Allowance.

In This Article

The Core Distinction: Private Funding vs. Direct Payments

The most straightforward scenario involves paying for care from your own private funds. If the person needing care is self-funding, they are essentially an employer and can hire a family member as a personal assistant, much like hiring any other care worker. The arrangement is a private one, but it still requires a clear understanding of legal and financial responsibilities, such as those related to HMRC.

Conversely, the process becomes more complex when using Direct Payments from the local council. These payments are part of a personal budget designed to give you more control over your care. While you can use them to employ a care worker, the rules regarding paying a family member are much stricter, especially for those living in the same household.

Using Private Funds to Pay a Family Member

If you are funding the care yourself, you have the flexibility to pay a family member. It is highly recommended to formalise the arrangement with a written contract. This protects both parties by detailing the scope of care, hours worked, and agreed rate of pay. Key considerations include:

  • Employment Responsibilities: As the 'employer', you are responsible for paying the family member's wage and making appropriate deductions for Income Tax and National Insurance Contributions (NICs). You must register with HMRC as an employer.
  • Clear Boundaries: A formal agreement helps to create professional boundaries within a family relationship, preventing misunderstandings and burnout.
  • Determining a Fair Rate: While you set the rate, it's wise to research local rates for professional carers to ensure the pay is reasonable and comparable, as family carers are often not entitled to the same benefits as agency-employed carers.

Paying a Family Member with Direct Payments

If you receive a personal budget via Direct Payments from your local council, the rules are significantly different. The general rule is that you cannot use Direct Payments to pay a close family member who lives in the same household for their care. This is based on the principle that close relatives are expected to provide informal support without payment. However, there are crucial exceptions.

Exceptional Circumstances

A council might make an exception if they are convinced that paying a family member is necessary to meet your care needs. Examples of valid exceptional circumstances could include:

  • Your condition would make you distressed or anxious around a new, unfamiliar carer.
  • Cultural or religious reasons mean only a family member can provide the intimate personal care required.
  • Your family member's availability is the only viable option due to a lack of other suitable carers in the area.

The council must explicitly agree to this arrangement, and it must be clearly stated in your care and support plan. The payment amount must also be in line with what the council would otherwise pay for care.

Financial and Legal Considerations

Before starting a paid care arrangement, both the person needing care and the family member should consider the financial and legal ramifications.

If the Person Needing Care Lacks Mental Capacity

If the care recipient lacks the mental capacity to make decisions, a more formal legal process is required. A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) for Health and Welfare may allow a family member to make decisions, but paying a relative requires a higher level of scrutiny. A Deputy appointed by the Court of Protection, or an Attorney, must obtain explicit court approval to pay a family member, particularly if they live together.

Benefits and Tax Implications

For the family member being paid, the money is considered earnings. This can affect their eligibility for means-tested benefits, so it's vital to seek specialist advice. Carer's Allowance, for instance, has an earnings limit, and being paid could make the family member ineligible for it.

Comparison Table: Paying a Family Member for Care

Feature Privately Funded Care Council-Funded Direct Payments
Funding Source Personal savings or income Local council via a personal budget
Hiring Flexibility High; can employ any family member Restricted; generally cannot pay a close relative living with you
Exceptional Circumstances N/A Permitted only with explicit council approval based on care needs
Employer Responsibilities Full responsibility (tax, NI, payroll, DBS) Full responsibility (tax, NI, payroll, DBS), often with support available
Contract Recommended to formalise terms Required; must align with the approved care plan
Legal Oversight Personal arrangement; can be challenged Explicit council monitoring and approval

Navigating the Process and Finding Support

The process of setting up a paid family care arrangement can be complex, and you don't have to navigate it alone. Seeking guidance from local authorities and non-profit organisations is highly recommended.

  1. Request an Assessment: Start with a needs assessment from your local council to determine eligibility for support. This is the first step whether you plan to use Direct Payments or fund the care yourself.
  2. Contact Support Organisations: Organisations like Carers UK offer invaluable advice and resources for both carers and those receiving care, helping you understand your rights and options.
  3. Use Payroll Services: As an employer, you can hire a payroll service to handle tax, NI, and pension responsibilities, simplifying the administrative burden.

Conclusion: Planning for a Successful Arrangement

Ultimately, can I pay a family member to care for me in the UK? Yes, but the path depends on your funding. For self-funders, it's a private employment matter requiring proper contracts and HMRC registration. For those using Direct Payments, the council must approve the arrangement under exceptional circumstances if the carer is a co-resident close relative. In all cases, clear communication, formal agreements, and adherence to legal requirements are crucial for protecting both parties and ensuring the arrangement is sustainable for everyone involved.

Understanding the Financial Implications of Paying a Family Member

When a family member transitions from an unpaid role to a paid one, there are significant financial and legal details to address. This section delves deeper into the practicalities of a paid family care arrangement.

A. Becoming a Legitimate Employer

Taking on a family member as a paid carer means you become their employer. This comes with specific legal and financial duties, irrespective of whether the care is privately funded or through Direct Payments. You must:

  1. Register as an Employer: Inform HMRC that you have an employee and register for PAYE (Pay As You Earn) to manage tax and NI deductions.
  2. Provide a Written Contract: A legally binding contract should outline the job description, working hours, pay rate, holiday entitlement, and sick pay.
  3. Manage Payroll and Deductions: Accurately calculate and pay wages, deducting tax and NI as required. Many specialist payroll services exist to help manage this complex task.
  4. Ensure Employer's Liability Insurance: This protects you against claims if your employee is injured while working for you.
  5. Check Right to Work and DBS: Conduct necessary checks to ensure your family member is legally able to work in the UK and has an up-to-date Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) check, especially if they are providing regulated care.

B. The Impact on Benefits

Carefully consider how payments affect benefits for both parties:

  • For the Care Recipient: If the council contributes to your care costs, they will conduct a financial assessment. Your income and assets may affect your contribution, and paying a family member could be factored into this assessment.
  • For the Family Member: Earning a wage could make them ineligible for certain benefits, such as Carer's Allowance, Universal Credit, or Pension Credit, which have strict earnings limits. It is vital to seek professional welfare benefits advice before formalising a paid arrangement.

C. The Process for Individuals Lacking Mental Capacity

For those who have lost the capacity to manage their own affairs, the process is heavily regulated to protect their best interests. A Deputy appointed by the Court of Protection, or an Attorney with a valid LPA, must follow stringent guidelines laid down by the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG). Payments must be proven to be in the care recipient's best interests, not just a preference, and be affordable relative to their total estate. The OPG often recommends payment rates based on local standards, not the carer's previous salary.

D. The Best of Both Worlds: Professional and Family Care

Many families find a blended approach to be the most effective. By using Direct Payments or private funds to hire professional care for certain tasks or hours, the family carer can reduce their burden and focus on providing emotional support rather than being stretched thin by every care need. This also provides respite for the family carer, helping to prevent burnout and ensure the long-term sustainability of the care arrangement.

Frequently Asked Questions

No, if your relative pays you above the weekly earnings limit for Carer's Allowance, you will not be eligible. Carer's Allowance has an earnings threshold that is typically lower than a full-time wage.

Yes, even with family, a written contract is highly recommended. It protects both parties by clearly defining roles, responsibilities, pay, and expectations, helping to prevent future disputes.

Exceptional circumstances are specific, care-need-related reasons that justify an exception to the rule. This could include a care recipient's severe anxiety with unfamiliar carers or specific cultural or religious needs that a family member is uniquely able to meet. The council must agree it is the only viable option.

You can register online via the GOV.UK website. You will need to provide your details and your employee's information. HMRC will then guide you on setting up PAYE to handle tax and National Insurance.

A PoA can manage the care recipient's finances, but explicitly paying a family member, especially themselves, requires careful consideration. If the care recipient lacks mental capacity, Deputies and Attorneys must abide by Office of the Public Guardian (OPG) guidance and may need court approval to avoid conflicts of interest.

Yes, as an employer, you must pay your family member at least the National Minimum Wage for all hours worked. This is a legal requirement, regardless of your relationship with the employee.

A Personal Health Budget (PHB) is an NHS budget for healthcare needs, while Direct Payments are for social care needs. A PHB can be managed in several ways, including as a Direct Payment, but the rules on paying family members are similar—it requires explicit approval under specific circumstances.

References

  1. 1
  2. 2

Medical Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider regarding personal health decisions.