Can someone live with you in assisted living?

According to A Place for Mom, more elderly couples are opting for assisted living together, reflecting a growing trend. This article addresses the key question, 'Can someone live with you in assisted living?', by exploring common cohabitation policies, costs, and care requirements across different facilities.

Quick Summary

Most assisted living communities allow couples, and sometimes other family members, to live together in shared units. Eligibility depends on facility policies, individual care needs, and whether the apartment size can accommodate two people safely and comfortably.

Key Points

• Yes, usually for spouses: Most assisted living communities allow married couples and long-term partners to live together in shared units.

• Consider different care needs: If one partner's health declines significantly, especially requiring memory care, couples may need to live in separate units within the same community.

• Financial savings possible: Sharing an apartment often means paying a base rent plus a lower second-occupant fee, which can be more affordable than paying for two separate places.

• Non-spousal cohabitation is rare: Assisted living facilities have strict regulations that typically prevent non-care-receiving family members, like adult children, from residing with the resident.

• Ask about costs and policies: It is crucial to ask each potential community about their specific pricing structure, eligibility requirements, and procedures for couples.

• Assess eligibility individually: Even when living together, each partner will have an individual assessment to determine their specific care plan and associated costs.

• Benefits of companionship: Remaining together in assisted living offers significant emotional and social benefits, reducing feelings of isolation and stress.

Yes, Couples Can Often Live Together

When exploring assisted living options, a common and important question is whether a resident can share their new home with a loved one. The answer is most often yes, particularly for spouses and long-term partners. Assisted living communities are increasingly designed to accommodate couples, allowing them to remain together in shared apartments while receiving individualized care services. This arrangement not only provides companionship but also eases the stress of transition for both individuals.

Cohabitation Policies for Spouses and Partners

For married or partnered individuals, the process of cohabitation in assisted living is typically straightforward, provided the community offers units large enough for two people. Many facilities have specific suites or apartments designed for couples. However, the policies can vary significantly from one community to another. Some communities might require both partners to meet the facility's general admission criteria, while others may be more flexible if one person is largely independent. The key is to discuss your specific situation with the community's staff during the initial tour and assessment process.

A major benefit of moving into assisted living with a spouse is the potential for financial savings. Instead of paying for two separate apartments, couples generally pay a base rate for the shared unit plus a lower 'second occupant' fee and additional charges based on each person's care needs. This is often more cost-effective than arranging for two different living situations or managing full-time in-home care.

When Care Needs Differ Between Partners

Couples who have lived together for decades rarely age at the exact same pace. It is common for one partner to require a higher level of care than the other. This is a crucial factor in assisted living cohabitation. If one spouse needs more intensive support for daily activities (ADLs) or requires specialized memory care, the solution may involve separate living arrangements within the same community. Many facilities offer a continuum of care on one campus, with assisted living, memory care, and independent living options. For instance, a spouse with early-stage dementia might be able to share a unit, but as the condition progresses, they may need to transition to a dedicated memory care wing. In such cases, the couple can still remain close, participating in shared meals and activities, while ensuring each person receives the appropriate level of care. It's essential to understand a facility's policy for accommodating differing care needs before committing.

What About Non-Spousal Cohabitation?

For family members other than spouses or partners, cohabitation rules are more restrictive and facility-dependent. Assisted living communities primarily serve their residents who require care. Allowing a non-care-receiving family member, such as an adult child, to live in a resident's unit is not a standard practice. In some smaller, residential-style assisted living homes, an owner or designated live-in caregiver might live on-site, but this is a very different arrangement from a family member providing informal care. Communities are heavily regulated and must ensure the safety and well-being of all residents, which often precludes casual cohabitation. Any such arrangements would need specific approval and would likely incur additional fees.

Financial Implications of Shared Living

The cost of assisted living for couples is more complex than for a single resident. While sharing a unit avoids the expense of two separate rents, other costs are involved. It's important to get a clear breakdown from each community you consider.

Cost components typically include:

• Base Rent: The cost for the apartment unit itself.
• Second Occupant Fee: An additional, but often discounted, fee for the second person residing in the unit.
• Tiered Care Fees: Fees based on the level of assistance each person requires. Since care needs can be different, this will be assessed individually for both residents.

Comparing Living Options for Couples

To make an informed decision, it is helpful to compare assisted living with other senior housing options based on the needs of a couple.

Feature	Assisted Living for Couples	Independent Living for Couples	Memory Care for Couples
Best For	Couples needing some help with daily activities but desiring independence.	Healthy, active seniors who want to downsize and enjoy amenities.	Couples where at least one person has advanced dementia or cognitive decline.
Living Arrangements	Shared apartment suites with individualized care plans.	Private apartments, cottages, or townhomes with access to community services.	Secure, specialized units; couples may need to live separately.
Care Provided	Assistance with ADLs, medication management, meal preparation.	Minimal to no personal care, services often à la carte.	24/7 supervision, specialized programming, and dementia-specific care.
Key Benefit	Remaining together while getting professional help.	Freedom from home maintenance and strong social engagement.	Specialized, safe environment for the partner with dementia while allowing the other to be nearby.

What to Ask Potential Communities

Before making a decision, ask the following questions to understand how a community can accommodate your specific needs:

1. Do you have specific policies for couples who wish to live together?
2. What is your typical fee structure for two people, including any second occupant or differing care fees?
3. How do you handle situations where a couple has significantly different care needs?
4. If one spouse needs to transition to a higher level of care, such as memory care, what are the options for the other spouse?
5. What sizes of apartments or suites are available for couples, and are there waiting lists?
6. Can a non-care-receiving family member reside with the resident? What is the policy and cost for this?

Conclusion: Prioritizing Your Relationship

Ultimately, assisted living for couples is not only possible but can also be a wonderful solution for aging together with dignity and support. By choosing a community that understands and respects your relationship, you can ensure that both you and your loved one receive the right care while continuing to share your life. The key is to do thorough research, have open conversations with facility staff about your unique circumstances, and prioritize the options that best support your shared well-being. For more information on aging and care options, consider consulting reputable resources like AARP.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can a married couple live together in assisted living?

Yes, most assisted living communities are designed to accommodate couples. They offer shared apartment-style units where spouses can live together while receiving individualized care based on their specific needs. You will typically pay a single rent plus a fee for the second occupant.

What if one spouse needs more care than the other?

Assisted living facilities are equipped to handle differing care needs. Both partners will receive an individual care plan. In cases of significant disparity, such as one partner needing memory care, the facility might place them in separate units or wings within the same campus to ensure appropriate support while keeping them close.

Can I have a roommate in assisted living if I'm not married?

Policies for non-married cohabitation vary by community. While some may offer 'companion suites' for unrelated individuals, the primary resident must still meet the facility's care criteria. You should check with each facility directly about their specific roommate policies.

Will my assisted living cost double if my spouse moves in?

No, the cost does not typically double. For couples, the expense usually includes the unit's base rent, a reduced fee for the second person, and individual charges based on each resident's level of care. This often results in significant savings compared to two separate units.

Can a family member act as a caregiver in assisted living?

Assisted living facilities have staff to provide care and have regulations concerning who can provide services. While family members are encouraged to be involved, they generally cannot replace the facility's professional care services or move in to act as a full-time caregiver.

What if one spouse develops memory loss in assisted living?

Many facilities offer a continuum of care, including specialized memory care units. If one spouse's needs change, they may transition to a memory care wing while their partner remains in assisted living. Facilities often work to keep couples connected through regular visits and activities.

How do we choose an assisted living community for our needs?

Start by identifying the current and potential future care needs of both individuals. Tour several facilities, asking specific questions about their cohabitation policies, costs, and how they handle different levels of care. Prioritize communities that offer flexible solutions and a supportive environment.