Shared Living Options: Yes, You Can
The short answer is that, in most modern assisted living communities, it is possible for couples and sometimes other loved ones to live together. This is a significant consideration for seniors and their families who value companionship and wish to avoid separation. The ability to stay together preserves emotional bonds and can make the transition to assisted living much smoother.
Living Arrangements for Couples
Assisted living communities offer various living arrangements designed to keep couples together, even when their care needs differ. The most common options include:
- Shared Apartment or Suite: Many communities provide larger, apartment-style units specifically for couples. These units typically feature a living area, kitchenette, private bathroom, and enough space for two people. This is often the most cost-effective option, as communities usually charge a base rent for the unit plus a second-person fee, which is significantly less than paying for two separate units.
- Adjacent or Nearby Units: In some cases, couples with vastly different care requirements may need separate living spaces. For instance, if one spouse needs memory care and the other is in standard assisted living, a community might offer separate units in adjacent wings or floors. In Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs), this is a common setup, allowing partners to remain on the same campus and visit frequently while each receives the appropriate level of care.
What About Non-Spouses?
It's not just married couples who can share a space. Assisted living communities are becoming more flexible and may allow other family members, such as siblings, or even long-term platonic friends to share a unit. Policies for non-spouses can vary more widely and may be subject to state regulations or facility-specific rules. It is always best to check with the community directly about their shared residency policy for non-married individuals.
Addressing Differing Care Needs
One of the most common concerns for couples is what happens when one partner’s health declines faster than the other's. Modern assisted living facilities are designed to handle this with tiered care plans. For example, if one spouse eventually requires specialized memory care, many communities have a designated memory care unit within the same building or campus. This ensures both partners receive personalized care while staying close, as mentioned in AARP's articles on long-term care for couples.
Benefits of Remaining Together
Staying together in assisted living offers profound benefits for both partners. The emotional support and companionship are invaluable, reducing feelings of isolation and loneliness. For the healthier partner, it can alleviate the burden of being a sole caregiver, reducing the risk of burnout and allowing them to focus on being a loving partner again. The move also provides peace of mind for both individuals, knowing that support is available 24/7. This can restore a sense of joy to the relationship and improve overall quality of life.
Factors to Consider Before the Move
To ensure a smooth transition, consider the following points when researching assisted living for two people:
- Community-Specific Policies: Always ask prospective communities about their specific policies for shared residency, especially regarding non-spouses and couples with differing care needs.
- Level of Care: Ensure the facility can adequately meet the needs of the partner requiring the higher level of care, both now and in the future.
- Financial Implications: Understand the cost structure, including the second-person fee, bundled care packages, and any additional charges for specialized services.
- Apartment Availability: Inquire about the availability of larger units designed for couples, as they may be limited.
- Couples' Needs Assessment: Some communities offer a specialized assessment for couples to determine the best plan for both individuals.
Comparison of Shared Living Scenarios
| Scenario | Common Arrangement | Care Flexibility | Cost Considerations | Potential Challenges |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Married Couple, Similar Needs | Shared apartment/suite. | Typically straightforward within standard assisted living. | Second-person fee added to base rent. Most affordable option. | Minor disagreements on space use or daily habits. |
| Married Couple, Different Needs | Shared unit if needs are manageable; separate units if one needs memory care. | Community must offer multiple care levels (e.g., assisted and memory care). | Higher costs if separate units are needed; potential for tiered pricing. | Emotional strain if forced to live apart due to specialized care requirements. |
| Non-Spouse Relatives/Friends | Shared suite, based on community policy. | Assessed individually, may need to meet similar care criteria. | Often similar to couples' pricing (second-person fee). | Finding a community with a flexible non-spouse policy; potential state regulations. |
| Non-Spouse with Separate Needs | Separate apartments/units within the same community. | Each receives care tailored to their own needs. | Rent for two units; potential for different care-level costs. | Higher overall cost; less financial benefit from shared living. |
Conclusion: Staying Together is Possible with Planning
For many aging couples and companions, the thought of being separated for care is a source of great anxiety. Fortunately, the landscape of assisted living is evolving to be more accommodating. By carefully researching community policies, understanding care needs, and planning for the financial aspects, it is very possible to find a place where you and your loved one can continue to live together, side-by-side. The key is proactive research and honest communication with prospective communities to find the right fit for your unique situation.
For more information on navigating senior care options, you can consult resources like AARP's guide to long-term care for couples.
