How do Japanese greet elders? The etiquette of respect and reverence

Japanese culture is deeply rooted in respect for elders, so much so that Japan has a national holiday called Respect for the Aged Day. Understanding how do Japanese greet elders involves a delicate balance of body language and polite language, reflecting a hierarchical society that values wisdom and experience. This guide will walk you through the essential etiquette to navigate these social interactions with grace and respect.

Quick Summary

In Japan, greeting elders is a formal affair involving a combination of verbal cues and physical gestures, primarily the bow, to convey deep respect and humility. The depth and duration of the bow and the use of polite language (keigo) with appropriate honorifics are crucial, demonstrating an understanding of social hierarchy and cultural reverence for older generations. Handshakes are rare, and prolonged direct eye contact is often avoided.

Key Points

• Combine Verbal and Non-Verbal Greetings: The traditional Japanese greeting for elders involves both saying the right phrase (aisatsu) and performing a respectful bow (ojigi).

• Bow Deeply and Hold Longer: Your bow should be deeper (Keirei, 30°) and held for a longer duration than for a casual acquaintance to show proper respect to an elder.

• Use Polite Language (Keigo): Address elders using formal, polite language, and always add appropriate honorifics like '-san' or '-sama' after their name.

• Avoid Direct Eye Contact and Physical Touch: Refrain from making prolonged direct eye contact during a bow and avoid physical contact like handshakes or hugs unless initiated by the elder.

• Respect Personal Space: Keep a respectful distance and be mindful of personal space, as a sign of consideration and courtesy.

• Be Sincere in Your Actions: While foreigners aren't expected to be perfect, a genuine and sincere attempt to follow these customs is highly valued and appreciated by the Japanese.

The Core of Japanese Greetings: Aisatsu and Ojigi

The fundamental components of greeting in Japan are aisatsu (挨拶), which are verbal greetings, and ojigi (お辞儀), the act of bowing. Unlike many Western cultures where a casual "hello" is sufficient, Japanese greetings are context-dependent, with different levels of formality required for various situations and relationships. When greeting an elder, a higher degree of formality is always expected, and failing to do so can be considered rude or disrespectful.

The Art of the Bow (Ojigi)

Bowing is the cornerstone of showing respect in Japan and is a non-verbal way of communicating your position relative to another person. When greeting an elder, the bow must be deeper and held longer than a casual greeting. The depth of the bow is symbolic, demonstrating that you are lowering yourself in respect to the person you are addressing.

• Eshaku (会釈): A shallow bow of about 15 degrees. While this is used for casual greetings among colleagues, it is generally insufficient for an elder.
• Keirei (敬礼): A more respectful bow of about 30 degrees. This is the standard for greeting elders or superiors in business settings.
• Saikeirei (最敬礼): The deepest, most respectful bow, at around 45 degrees. Reserved for moments of deep gratitude, apology, or when greeting someone of extremely high status, such as royalty.

Proper Bowing Technique:

1. Posture: Stand straight with your feet together. For men, hands are placed at the sides. For women, hands are gently clasped in front.
2. Movement: Bend from the waist, keeping your back straight. The bow is not a nod of the head but a bend of the torso.
3. Timing: The deeper the bow, the longer it is held. A respectful bow to an elder can be held for several seconds.
4. Eye Contact: Avoid direct eye contact while bowing, as it can be perceived as aggressive. Lowering your gaze toward the floor is appropriate and shows humility.

The Importance of Verbal Greetings and Keigo

Verbal greetings, or aisatsu, are equally important and must be accompanied by the correct level of polite language, known as keigo. Keigo is an essential part of communication with elders and superiors and involves using specific vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate respect. Using informal language with an elder can cause offense.

Common Polite Verbal Greetings:

• Good Morning: Instead of the casual Ohayou (おはよう), use the more polite Ohayou gozaimasu (おはようございます).
• Good Day/Hello: Konnichiwa (こんにちは) is a versatile, polite greeting for most daytime situations.
• Good Evening: Use Konbanwa (こんばんは) after sunset.
• How Are You?: Ask respectfully, Ogenki desu ka? (お元気ですか？).

The Use of Honorifics

When addressing an elder, using the correct honorific is a sign of respect and politeness. Honorifics are attached to a person's name.

• -san: The most common and versatile honorific, equivalent to Mr./Ms. and safe to use in most situations if you are unsure.
• -sama: Used for a person of very high social standing, like a customer or a respected elder.
• Family terms: It is also common to refer to unrelated elders using familial terms out of respect, such as ojiisan (grandfather) for an elderly man or obaasan (grandmother) for an elderly woman.

Other Considerations in Japanese Etiquette

Beyond bowing and verbal greetings, other non-verbal cues and mannerisms contribute to a respectful interaction with elders.

• Personal Space: Maintain a respectful distance. Avoid physical contact such as hugging or slapping on the back, as this is uncommon in Japanese culture.
• Eye Contact: As mentioned with bowing, prolonged, direct eye contact can be considered rude. A balanced level of attentiveness is best.
• Initiating: If possible, allow the elder to initiate or reciprocate the greeting and bow. This shows deference to their status.
• The Handshake Dilemma: While rare in traditional settings, handshakes are becoming more common in international business. If you are offered a handshake, do not bow at the same time.

Formal vs. Informal Greetings: A Comparison

This table illustrates the difference between formal and informal greetings, highlighting the importance of context, especially when interacting with elders.

Feature	Formal (Elders/Superiors)	Informal (Close Friends/Peers)
Verbal Greeting	Ohayou gozaimasu, Konnichiwa	Ohayou, Yo, Yaa
Bowing	Keirei (30°), Saikeirei (45°), held longer	Quick, shallow eshaku (15°) or a simple nod
Language	Keigo (polite language), honorifics	Casual speech, no honorifics
Eye Contact	Less direct, focused on the chin or floor while bowing	More direct and relaxed
Physical Touch	Avoided	Casual, but still limited compared to Western cultures

Respect in Action: Applying the Etiquette

When greeting a Japanese elder, combining these elements creates a respectful and positive impression. The sincerity of your gesture matters most. While you may not perform a perfect bow, the effort to demonstrate respect according to Japanese customs is a powerful sign of goodwill. Remember to use the appropriate level of language and honorifics, and be mindful of your body language.

As Japan continues to celebrate its elders, as seen on Respect for the Aged Day, understanding these cultural nuances is not just about etiquette but about honoring a deeply ingrained cultural value. By following these customs, you show that you acknowledge and value the experience and wisdom of the older generation, contributing to the social harmony (wa) cherished in Japanese society.

Learn more about broader Japanese etiquette and cultural norms at the Japan National Tourism Organization.

Conclusion: Mastering the Art of Respectful Greetings

Greeting an elder in Japan is a thoughtful process that combines a respectful bow, appropriate verbal expressions, and careful body language. The hierarchy of bowing, the use of polite keigo, and the correct application of honorifics all signify a deep-seated reverence for older generations. While mastering every detail can be challenging for a foreigner, showing sincere effort and respect is highly appreciated. Ultimately, these practices are not merely formalities but a reflection of Japan's profound cultural values regarding respect for seniority, wisdom, and social harmony, making a positive and lasting impression on those you meet.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the most important aspect to remember when greeting an elder in Japan?

The most important aspect is showing deep respect through a combination of a polite verbal greeting (aisatsu) and a properly executed bow (ojigi). The sincerity of your effort is highly valued.

How deep should I bow when greeting an elderly person?

When greeting an elder, you should perform a Keirei, a bow of about 30 degrees, or even a deeper Saikeirei of 45 degrees, especially if you are showing deep respect. Hold the bow slightly longer than you would for a casual acquaintance.

Is it appropriate to shake hands with a Japanese elder?

Handshakes are not a traditional Japanese greeting and are rare, especially with elders. Bowing is the customary form of respect. It is best to avoid initiating a handshake and only offer one if the elder extends their hand first.

Should I use honorifics when addressing a Japanese elder?

Yes, always use honorifics. The most common and safest honorific is '-san', attached to their family name. For very respected individuals, you might use '-sama'. You may also use terms like ojiisan (grandfather) or obaasan (grandmother) out of respect.

What are some examples of polite language (keigo) to use?

Instead of the casual Ohayou (Good morning), use Ohayou gozaimasu. For asking 'How are you?', use the respectful Ogenki desu ka? Use these polite forms to show proper respect.

Is direct eye contact okay when greeting an elder?

No, it's best to avoid prolonged, direct eye contact, especially during a bow. Lowering your gaze is a sign of humility and respect in Japanese culture. A balanced level of attentiveness is appropriate otherwise.

What should a foreigner do if they are unsure about proper etiquette?

As a foreigner, the best course of action is to show sincerity and effort. A genuine attempt to follow basic bowing customs and use polite language, even imperfectly, is highly appreciated. When in doubt, erring on the side of formality is always the safest option.