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Understanding Respect: How do you address older people in Korean?

4 min read

In South Korean society, respect for elders is a core tenet rooted in Confucian tradition, influencing everything from speech to body language. Navigating the honorific system is key to proper etiquette, making it crucial to understand how do you address older people in Korean without causing offense.

Quick Summary

Addressing older people in Korean requires using specific honorifics like Eoreusin or Seonsaengnim in formal settings, or gender-specific kinship terms such as hyeong or noona in close relationships, with the appropriate politeness level.

Key Points

  • Start Formally: Always begin with polite, formal language and titles like Eoreusin or Seonsaengnim when unsure of the relationship.

  • Use Eoreusin and Seonsaengnim: These are safe, universally respectful titles for addressing general elderly individuals and seniors, especially strangers.

  • Know Your Kinship Terms: Understand the gender-specific terms for older friends or acquaintances, such as hyeong (male to older male) and unnie (female to older female).

  • Prioritize the Relationship: Use familiar kinship terms only after building a close relationship and receiving permission, as context is more important than age alone.

  • Observe Non-Verbal Cues: Complement your speech with respectful actions, including a bow and using two hands when exchanging items.

  • Be Cautious with Ajeossi/Ajumma: Use these terms with care for middle-aged individuals, as they can sometimes be seen as offensive, depending on the situation and individual.

  • Respect the Hierarchy: The Korean honorific system is based on age and status, and your communication style should always reflect this societal structure.

In This Article

The Foundation of Korean Honorifics and Speech Levels

Korean social structure is deeply hierarchical, and this is explicitly reflected in the language through its intricate system of honorifics and speech levels. The proper way to address someone is determined not just by their age, but also by their social standing, relationship to you, and the setting. This system is primarily divided into three main speech levels: Jondaetmal (존댓말), which is the most widely used polite speech; Nopimmal (높임말), a more formal, traditional form; and Banmal (반말), the casual form reserved for close peers and those younger than you.

It is always safest to default to a formal or polite speech style when speaking to someone older than you, especially if you do not know them well. An older person may later give you permission to speak more casually, but presuming a casual relationship can be seen as very rude.

Formal Titles for Addressing the Elderly and Strangers

When addressing an older person you don't know personally, such as a senior citizen on the street, in a restaurant, or at a hospital, using general and respectful titles is the best approach.

  • 어르신 (Eoreusin): This is a universally respectful and safe term to use for any elderly person, regardless of gender, and is equivalent to saying "senior" or "respected elder". It is particularly useful when the person's status or relationship to you is unknown.

  • 선생님 (Seonsaengnim): While literally meaning "teacher," this honorific is widely used as a respectful, all-purpose term for addressing any older person you need to speak with politely, such as a store clerk, taxi driver, or a senior stranger.

  • Kinship terms with caution: For middle-aged individuals, terms like 아저씨 (ajeossi) for a man and 아줌마 (ajumma) for a married woman are common. However, these can be sensitive. Some women, particularly younger middle-aged women, may be offended if they feel it implies they are old. When in doubt, it is safer to use a more neutral term like 저기요 (jeogiyo) to get their attention, followed by polite speech.

Familiar Terms for Close Relationships

Once you have established a relationship and have been given permission to do so, you can use more personal, gender-specific kinship terms for older friends and acquaintances. These are often used as affectionate pronouns in place of their name.

  • For females addressing older males:

    • 오빠 (Oppa): Used for an older brother or older male friend. It is also famously used in a romantic context by a girlfriend to her older boyfriend.
  • For females addressing older females:

    • 언니 (Unnie): Used for an older sister or older female friend.
  • For males addressing older males:

    • 형 (Hyeong): Used for an older brother or older male friend.
  • For males addressing older females:

    • 누나 (Noona): Used for an older sister or older female friend.

For even closer relationships or those significantly older, a respectful version might be used, such as 형님 (hyeongnim) instead of just hyeong.

How to Combine Titles and Names Respectfully

In Korean, you can combine names with honorific suffixes. The suffix -님 (-nim) is attached to a name or title to elevate its respect level, similar to a very formal Mr. or Ms. It is commonly used for customers or people of higher rank.

  • For example, addressing a boss is done by their title plus -님, such as 사장님 (sajangnim, literally "president-nim").

  • The suffix -씨 (-ssi), equivalent to Mr./Ms., is used with first names (e.g., 민수 씨) but can be seen as less respectful than -님 for significantly older or higher-ranked individuals. It is generally best used between peers of similar age.

Beyond Words: Non-Verbal Respect

Showing respect to elders in Korean culture goes far beyond verbal address. Non-verbal cues are equally important.

  • Bowing: A slight bow when greeting or saying goodbye to an elder is standard. The depth of the bow can indicate the level of respect.
  • Eye contact: Maintaining direct eye contact with an elder can be considered disrespectful, especially when being reprimanded.
  • Giving and receiving: Always use two hands when giving or receiving an object from an older person.
  • Seating: On public transport, it is customary for younger people to offer their seats to the elderly.

Comparison of Address Terms

Term Romanization Speaker Gender Addressee Gender Context
어르신 Eoreusin All All General, respectful for unknown seniors
선생님 Seonsaengnim All All General, polite for unknown seniors, or as a general honorific
아버님 / 어머님 Abeonim / Eomeonim All Male / Female Respectful in-law or parent of a friend
오빠 Oppa Female Male (older) Familiar, for close friend or brother
언니 Unnie Female Female (older) Familiar, for close friend or sister
Hyeong Male Male (older) Familiar, for close friend or brother
누나 Noona Male Female (older) Familiar, for close friend or sister
[Name] + 님 [Name] + nim All All Formal, high respect (often in business)
[Name] + 씨 [Name] + ssi All All Polite, but can be rude for significantly older people

The Respectful Approach

The key to addressing older people in Korean is to prioritize respect and context. When meeting an elder for the first time, assume a formal and respectful tone, using neutral titles like 어르신 or 선생님. Over time, a closer relationship may develop, and you might be invited to use more familiar terms like hyeong or unnie. This process of navigating relationships is a fundamental aspect of communicating respectfully in Korean culture. For more resources on Korean language and culture, visit Preply's Blog.

Conclusion

Addressing older people in Korean is a nuanced practice that reflects the country's deep-seated respect for elders. By using the appropriate honorifics and non-verbal cues, you can demonstrate genuine respect and navigate social interactions gracefully. Remembering that the right form of address depends on your relationship, gender, and the setting is the most important takeaway for anyone hoping to communicate effectively in Korean.

Frequently Asked Questions

For a very elderly person who is a stranger, the most respectful and safest term is 어르신 (Eoreusin). It is a neutral, universally respectful title for a senior citizen.

Using informal kinship terms like 오빠 (oppa) or 언니 (unnie) with someone who is not a close friend can be considered awkward or even rude. These terms imply a close, familiar relationship, so it is best to use more formal titles with strangers.

Koreans generally understand that foreigners may not be familiar with the honorific system. The best thing to do is politely apologize, correct yourself, and explain that you are still learning. Showing sincerity and a willingness to learn goes a long way.

In Korean culture, it is very common to ask someone's birth year early in a conversation to determine the appropriate honorifics and speech level. It is not considered rude and is a necessary part of social protocol.

To politely get an elderly person's attention, such as a server in a restaurant, you can use 저기요 (jeogiyo), which means "excuse me." If you know their professional title, using it with the suffix -님 is also appropriate, like 사장님 (sajangnim) for a restaurant owner.

Non-verbal cues are crucial. Key behaviors include a respectful bow when greeting, receiving items with two hands, and offering your seat to an elder on public transport. During conversation, it is also respectful to avoid direct, extended eye contact, especially during a serious discussion.

-님 (-nim) is a highly respectful suffix used with names or titles for people of higher status or for customers. -씨 (-ssi) is more common for peers of similar age but can be considered less respectful when addressing a much older or higher-ranked person.

References

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Medical Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider regarding personal health decisions.