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How to get a person into memory care: a compassionate guide

4 min read

With more than 6 million Americans living with Alzheimer's disease, the need for specialized memory care is a common reality for many families. Understanding how to get a person into memory care is a crucial, authoritative step toward providing a safer and more enriching environment for your loved one.

Quick Summary

Getting a loved one into memory care involves a thoughtful, multi-step process, beginning with a formal diagnosis and assessment, followed by researching appropriate facilities, securing financial and legal paperwork, and finally, planning a gentle and empathetic transition for the individual.

Key Points

  • Start early: Don't wait for a crisis. Begin researching options and having difficult conversations well before a move is urgent.

  • Get a medical diagnosis: A formal diagnosis from a doctor or specialist is a prerequisite for entry into most memory care facilities.

  • Secure legal documents: Obtain Durable Power of Attorney for healthcare and finances to be able to make necessary decisions on your loved one's behalf.

  • Tour facilities thoroughly: Visit multiple memory care communities, evaluate staff training, observe the environment, and check the resident-to-staff ratio.

  • Plan the transition compassionately: Personalize the new space and use the moving day strategy that is best for your loved one's cognitive and emotional state.

  • Utilize available resources: Lean on support groups, elder care attorneys, and community organizations to help guide you through the process and manage emotions.

In This Article

Recognizing the Need for Memory Care

For many families, the decision to pursue memory care arises gradually as a loved one's dementia or Alzheimer's symptoms progress. Recognizing the key indicators is the first and most critical step.

Signs a Loved One May Need Memory Care

  • Increasing safety risks: This includes wandering, leaving the stove on, or falls due to confusion. A memory care facility provides a secure environment to prevent these incidents.
  • Decline in daily functioning: The individual struggles with activities of daily living (ADLs) like dressing, bathing, and preparing meals. In-home care may no longer be sufficient.
  • Behavioral changes: Increased agitation, aggression, anxiety, or withdrawal that cannot be managed at home can be a sign that a structured, supervised environment is needed.
  • Caregiver burnout: The physical and emotional toll on family caregivers can become unsustainable. Moving a loved one to memory care allows the family to focus on their relationship rather than the demands of caregiving.
  • Lack of awareness: Disorientation regarding time, place, and people, a core symptom of progressing dementia, indicates a need for a facility with staff trained to manage these specific challenges.

The Assessment and Diagnosis Process

Before a memory care facility can accept a new resident, a formal medical assessment and diagnosis are required. This process typically involves a multidisciplinary team.

Steps for a Medical Evaluation

  1. Schedule a doctor’s visit: The first step is a comprehensive evaluation by the loved one’s primary care physician. This visit will help rule out other potential causes for cognitive changes, such as medication side effects or infections.
  2. Referral to a specialist: The primary care doctor will often refer the individual to a neurologist or geriatric psychiatrist for specialized cognitive and memory testing. These assessments help establish a formal diagnosis and gauge the severity of the impairment.
  3. Comprehensive assessment: A memory care facility will also conduct its own assessment, often involving a nurse or social worker. This evaluation examines the individual's specific care needs, functional abilities, and behavioral patterns to ensure the facility can provide appropriate care.

Choosing the Right Memory Care Facility

Once a diagnosis is confirmed, the search for a suitable memory care community begins. This requires careful research and multiple visits to different locations.

Factors to Consider When Researching Facilities

  • Staff training and experience: Look for facilities with staff who have specialized training in dementia care and are compassionate and patient.
  • Safety and security: The facility should have appropriate security measures, such as locked units and emergency call systems, to prevent wandering and ensure resident safety.
  • Programs and activities: Look for structured, stimulating activities tailored to different stages of memory loss that can help residents engage and maintain cognitive function.
  • Facility culture and environment: Pay attention to the atmosphere during your tour. Does it feel warm, welcoming, and respectful? Are residents engaged and well-cared-for?
  • Caregiver-to-resident ratio: A low ratio ensures that each resident receives the individual attention they need.

Navigating Finances and Legalities

Addressing the financial and legal aspects of memory care is crucial and should be done as early as possible. This can be complex, but several options exist to help manage the costs.

Financial Planning for Memory Care

  • Private funds and assets: Families often use a combination of personal savings, pensions, and Social Security benefits to cover costs.
  • Long-term care insurance: If the individual has a long-term care insurance policy, review it carefully to understand the extent of coverage for memory care services.
  • Medicaid: Eligibility for Medicaid is based on income and assets and varies by state. Some states offer waivers to cover care costs, but it typically does not cover room and board in assisted living memory care settings.
  • Veterans' benefits: The VA offers programs like Aid & Attendance that can provide financial assistance for veterans or their surviving spouses who require memory care.

Important Legal Steps

  • Power of Attorney: Secure a durable Power of Attorney for both healthcare and finances. This allows a designated person to make medical and financial decisions on behalf of the individual.
  • Guardianship: If the individual is no longer mentally capable of appointing a Power of Attorney, a court-appointed guardianship may be necessary. An elder law attorney can provide guidance on this process.

Planning a Compassionate Transition

Moving to memory care is an emotional journey for everyone involved. A compassionate and well-planned transition can significantly ease the process.

Comparison of Transition Approaches

Approach Pros Cons
Open Communication Respects autonomy, builds trust, and allows for discussion. Can cause significant distress, denial, and resistance in some individuals with advanced dementia.
Therapeutic Lie May reduce immediate anxiety and stress, making the move less confrontational. Involves deception, which can be emotionally difficult for caregivers and may cause confusion later.
Phased Introduction Allows for gradual acclimation with day programs or respite stays. Can be lengthy and cause repeated anxiety during each phase.

Tips for a Smooth Move

  • Time it wisely: Plan the move during the loved one's best time of day, avoiding times when sundowning behaviors are common.
  • Pack familiar items: Bring comforting, personal belongings like photos, a favorite blanket, or a special chair to make the new room feel like home.
  • Involve the staff: Share your loved one's life story, routines, preferences, and triggers with the staff to help them provide personalized and sensitive care.

Conclusion: Looking Ahead with Confidence

Successfully navigating how to get a person into memory care is one of the most challenging yet important tasks a family can face. By systematically addressing the signs of need, securing a formal diagnosis, carefully selecting a facility, handling legal and financial logistics, and executing a compassionate move, you can ensure your loved one receives the specialized care they need. The transition may be difficult, but it ultimately provides a safer, more structured environment where they can thrive, and where caregivers can find much-needed support and peace of mind. For additional information on long-term care options, visit the National Institute on Aging website to explore their resources.

Frequently Asked Questions

It's time to consider memory care when a loved one's safety is at risk due to wandering or confusion, they can no longer manage daily tasks, their behavioral changes are challenging to manage at home, or the primary caregiver is experiencing burnout.

Assisted living provides general support for seniors who need help with daily activities. Memory care, however, is a specialized, secure environment with staff trained to handle the unique needs of individuals with dementia, including wandering prevention and specialized activities.

If they refuse, it's often rooted in fear. Avoid arguing and instead focus on addressing their fears with empathy. You can involve a trusted third party, like their doctor, or focus on the benefits of the move. In cases of severe risk, you may need to consult an elder law attorney about guardianship.

Families often use a combination of private funds, long-term care insurance, veterans' benefits, and potentially Medicaid. It's best to consult a financial advisor or senior care specialist to explore all payment options, as they vary widely.

You will need a Durable Power of Attorney for healthcare and finances to make decisions on your loved one's behalf. If they are no longer able to legally grant this, a court-appointed guardianship may be required.

To ease the transition, personalize their room with familiar belongings, choose a move-in time that aligns with their best time of day, and communicate openly with the facility staff about their routines and preferences.

Yes, most memory care facilities require a formal medical assessment and diagnosis of dementia or a related cognitive impairment from a physician or specialist to determine eligibility and level of care needed.

References

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Medical Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider regarding personal health decisions.