What is financial abuse?
Financial abuse, also known as economic abuse, is a form of interpersonal violence where one person controls another's ability to acquire, use, or maintain financial resources. It is a coercive and manipulative tactic that diminishes the victim's capacity for self-sufficiency and independence. Unlike physical violence, financial abuse can be subtle and insidious, slowly isolating a person and making it difficult to leave the relationship. The effects can be long-lasting, leaving survivors with damaged credit, debt, and a lack of financial security.
The five key signs of financial abuse
Recognizing the signs of financial abuse is the first and most critical step toward regaining control. While abuse can take many forms, these five signs are among the most common indicators of financial control in a relationship.
1. Controlling access to funds and accounts
One of the most immediate signs of financial abuse is when a partner restricts or monitors your access to money. This can manifest in several ways:
- Providing an allowance: An abuser may give you a small, predetermined amount of money and demand receipts for every expenditure. This is a tactic designed to infantilize you and reinforce their power.
- Restricting access to accounts: They may prevent you from viewing or accessing bank accounts, credit cards, or online banking information, even if the funds are jointly owned.
- Taking over banking duties: An abuser might take complete control of bill payments, convincing you they are more responsible or better with money. Over time, this makes you completely dependent on them.
2. Sabotaging employment and career goals
An abuser may actively work to prevent you from earning an income or advancing your career. This ensures your financial dependency and reduces your outside contact. Examples include:
- Preventing you from working: This can be achieved through constant harassment at your job, interfering with your transportation, or pressuring you to quit.
- Causing job loss: They might get you fired by constantly calling or texting your workplace, or by physically harming you before important interviews or work events.
- Forbidding education: An abuser might discourage or outright forbid you from pursuing higher education or job training that could increase your financial independence.
3. Creating debt and ruining credit
Abusers often use financial abuse to damage a victim's credit score and create a cycle of debt that is difficult to escape. This is a long-term strategy to ensure the victim remains tethered to them. Common tactics include:
- Running up debt in your name: This can involve opening new credit cards or taking out loans without your knowledge or consent.
- Neglecting joint bills: The abuser may intentionally refuse to pay bills, ruining your joint credit and creating legal problems.
- Coercing you into bad financial decisions: You may be pressured to co-sign loans for them, or they may force you to file fraudulent tax returns.
4. Withholding money for necessities
This sign involves controlling essential life resources to exert power. An abuser may use money as a weapon by withholding it for basic needs, often under the guise of financial discipline. This can look like:
- Denying funds for food and medication: The abuser might withhold money needed for groceries, prescriptions, or other crucial items for you and your children.
- Controlling access to shelter: An abuser might refuse to pay the rent or mortgage, threatening homelessness to maintain control.
- Secreting assets: They may hide money or financial information from you, making it impossible to plan for the future.
5. Stealing or exploiting your resources
Financial exploitation involves the abuser directly stealing from or misusing the victim's money, property, or inheritance. This is a brazen display of power and disrespect for your autonomy. This can include:
- Taking your earnings: The abuser may demand that you turn over your paychecks or public benefits directly to them.
- Exploiting inherited assets: They may force you to cash in or sign over any inheritance or assets you own.
- Using your identity: Stealing your identity to open fraudulent accounts or drain your savings is another form of financial exploitation.
How financial abuse differs from disagreements over money
It's important to distinguish financial abuse from normal disagreements about money within a relationship. While many couples argue about finances, financial abuse involves a deliberate pattern of control and manipulation.
| Aspect | Normal Financial Disagreement | Financial Abuse |
|---|---|---|
| Power Dynamic | Both partners have an equal say, even if they don't always agree. | One partner has absolute control and decision-making power over finances. |
| Transparency | Both partners have full access to financial information and account details. | One partner hides accounts, debts, or assets from the other. |
| Motivation | Stems from differing financial values, communication issues, or stress. | Driven by a desire for power and control over the other partner. |
| Outcome | Leads to compromise or a temporary, resolvable conflict. | Results in emotional distress, financial instability, and economic dependency for the victim. |
What to do if you suspect financial abuse
If you recognize these signs, your safety is the top priority. Here are some steps you can take to begin to regain your financial independence:
Build your support system
- Talk to someone you trust: Confide in a friend, family member, or colleague. Simply voicing your concerns can be a powerful first step.
- Seek professional help: Reach out to a domestic violence hotline or local support organization. They can offer confidential advice and help you create a safety plan.
Document and secure your financial information
- Keep a record: Create a detailed record of all financial transactions, communications, and incidents of abuse. Store this information securely outside the home, either digitally or physically.
- Secure important documents: If possible and safe, gather important documents such as birth certificates, social security cards, bank statements, and tax records. Keep them in a safe place where the abuser cannot find them.
Take steps towards financial autonomy
- Open a separate bank account: If you are able, open a new bank account in your name only. Use a different bank than the abuser and do not allow them access to it.
- Request copies of credit reports: Review your credit reports to identify any accounts or debts that were opened without your knowledge. You can report fraudulent activity to the credit bureaus.
- Seek employment: If you are unemployed due to the abuse, discreetly seek new job opportunities. Local support centers can assist with job training and search services.
Conclusion
Understanding what are the five signs of financial abuse—controlling funds, employment sabotage, debt creation, withholding necessities, and stealing—is essential for identifying this dangerous pattern of control. Financial abuse can be subtle, but its effects are profound, impacting a victim's ability to leave and rebuild their life. By recognizing these signs and taking proactive steps to secure your financial future, you can begin the journey toward safety and financial independence. Resources such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline offer confidential support and guidance for survivors.
Resources for financial abuse victims
If you or someone you know is experiencing financial abuse, confidential help is available:
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org for 24/7 support.
- The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV): Offers resources and financial education for survivors.
- NNEDV Financial Abuse Toolkit: Provides practical information and tools for survivors navigating financial abuse.
