Navigating the right language to address older adults can be challenging, as preferences vary widely based on individual perspectives and cultural backgrounds. However, a growing consensus exists around moving away from potentially patronizing or stereotypical language and toward more neutral, respectful, and person-centered terms. While there is no single right answer, understanding the nuances behind different terms is key to communicating with dignity.
Moving Beyond Outdated Terminology
Many once-common terms are now considered offensive or disrespectful by a significant portion of the older population. For example, a 2021 study showed that traditional labels like "senior" or "senior citizen" were only preferred by a small percentage of older adults. The term "senior citizen" can feel institutional and outdated, originating during a different societal context. Similarly, the term "elderly" is often perceived negatively, connoting frailty and alienation. Prominent organizations, including the Associated Press (AP) and the American Psychological Association (APA), now advise against using it.
Inclusive and Respectful Language
So, what are the better alternatives? Many older adults appreciate neutral, inclusive terms that recognize them as part of the broader adult society rather than isolating them into a separate group.
- Older Adults/Older People: This is widely endorsed by style guides and health organizations as a respectful and neutral option. It emphasizes that they are simply adults who are older, without suggesting they are a separate class of people.
- Mature Adults: A term that is also embraced for its inclusive nature, suggesting a stage of life rather than just a chronological age.
- By Name or Relationship: The most respectful approach is always to address an individual by their preferred name or title. For example, using "Mr. Smith" or "Ms. Jones" until invited to use a first name is a safe and formal sign of respect. If they are a family member, using their established relationship title, like "Grandma," is appropriate.
- Retiree: The term "retiree" can be a well-received lifestyle-focused label, especially for those in the traditional retirement age bracket who are no longer working. However, it may be less relevant for those who continue to work or volunteer.
The Importance of Individual Preference
No single term is universally loved, and some individuals may even reclaim or prefer words that others find negative. The best strategy is to be aware of the general preferences and, whenever possible, ask the individual directly. This simple act of asking shows respect for their autonomy and personal choice. For example, a healthcare provider might ask, "How do you prefer to be addressed?" when meeting a new patient.
The Language of Respectful Communication
Beyond just the words, respectful communication with older adults involves a broader set of skills and considerations. It means avoiding condescending "elderspeak"—a form of patronizing language that uses a simplified, slow tone, as if speaking to a child. It also involves active listening, patience, and recognizing the diversity of experiences within this demographic.
Best Practices for Interaction
- Listen Actively: Give your full attention, avoid interruptions, and reflect back what you hear to confirm understanding.
- Allow Processing Time: Some older adults may take more time to formulate a response. Patience is key, and rushing them can increase anxiety.
- Reduce Distractions: In a noisy environment, communication can be difficult, especially for those with hearing loss. Choose a quiet, well-lit space for important conversations.
- Face-to-Face Communication: Facing the person directly allows for lip-reading and helps them pick up on visual cues. If they use a wheelchair, sit down to be at eye level.
- Don't Assume: Avoid making assumptions about their capabilities or health based solely on age. Ask clarifying questions instead of assuming hearing or vision deficits.
What to Avoid
- Patronizing Language: Don't use overly familiar or cutesy terms like "dear," "sweetie," or "honey." Speak to them as fellow adults.
- Stereotypes: Avoid comments that reinforce negative stereotypes, such as implying that aging means decline or that they are "of a certain age".
- Arguing: While generational differences exist, arguing over differing opinions can be frustrating for both parties. It's often more productive to listen and acknowledge their perspective.
Comparison of Terms for Addressing Older Adults
| Term | Connotation | Usage Context | Preferred By | Organizations' View |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Older Adult | Neutral, Inclusive | General writing, professional communication, healthcare settings | Many older adults, Younger generations | Strongly Preferred (AP, NIA, APA) |
| Senior | Mixed, Traditional | Discounts, senior centers, generational differences | Some, particularly older age groups (>80) | Tolerated by some, less preferred than "older adult" |
| Senior Citizen | Outdated, Institutional | Formal government documents, traditional marketing | Fewer older adults (<10% in one study) | Often Avoided |
| Elderly | Negative, Frail, Stereotypical | Rarely, sometimes used in headlines for brevity | Few, most reject this term | Strongly Avoided (AP, NIA, APA) |
| Elder | Respectful, but Specific | Referencing a person of wisdom, or Native American culture | Some older adults, Culturally specific groups | Use with caution, can imply wisdom but not universally accepted |
| Mature Adult | Positive, Inclusive | Marketing, general communication | Many older adults | Embraced |
| Retiree | Lifestyle-Focused | Describing employment status | Those newly retired, lifestyle groups | Well-received by some |
The Power of Individualized Language
Ultimately, the most respectful approach is to treat each person as an individual and recognize that their identity is not defined by their age. By asking about their preferences, actively listening, and using neutral language, you can ensure your communication is both respectful and accurate. When in doubt, defaulting to their name or the inclusive "older adults" is a safe and respectful bet. This shift in language helps to combat ageism and foster dignity in every interaction.
Conclusion
When considering what older adults prefer to be called, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. However, recent research and guidance from authoritative bodies show a clear trend: move away from outdated, institutional terms like "senior citizen" and "elderly." Instead, embrace inclusive, neutral language like "older adult" or "older person." The best approach remains the most personal one—respectfully ask the individual what they prefer, use formal titles until invited otherwise, and always treat them as a capable, unique adult. By doing so, you contribute to a more age-positive and respectful society where every person is seen for who they are, not for their age.
