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What should you do when you have concerns someone might have a cognitive impairment?

6 min read

According to the Alzheimer's Association, 1 in 3 seniors dies with Alzheimer’s or another dementia. For families, this can make the question of what should you do when you have concerns someone might have a cognitive impairment a very real and pressing concern. This guide offers a compassionate and authoritative framework for taking the right steps.

Quick Summary

Taking action begins with documenting specific observations and having a gentle, planned conversation with the person you are concerned about. The next crucial step is to encourage a visit to a healthcare professional for a proper evaluation, diagnosis, and care plan.

Key Points

  • Document Specific Observations: Keep a detailed log of concerning behaviors and incidents, including dates and context, to share with a doctor.

  • Plan a Compassionate Conversation: Choose a private, calm setting and use “I” statements to express your concerns and care, focusing on specific examples.

  • Encourage a Doctor’s Visit: The goal is to get a professional evaluation to determine the cause of the symptoms, as some issues are reversible.

  • Prepare for the Medical Evaluation: Accompany your loved one to the appointment and bring your notes, a list of their medications, and a history of their symptoms.

  • Seek Support and Resources: Connect with support groups, utilize respite care, and explore resources from organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association to help both you and your loved one.

  • Prioritize Legal and Financial Planning: An early diagnosis provides a crucial window to establish important legal documents, such as powers of attorney, while the person can still participate in the decision-making process.

In This Article

Recognizing Early Signs

Early detection of cognitive impairment is crucial for timely intervention and planning. It is important to distinguish between normal age-related changes, like occasionally forgetting a name, and more persistent and serious issues that could indicate cognitive decline.

Key indicators to observe

  • Memory Loss Affecting Daily Life: Forgetting recent events, asking the same questions repeatedly, or relying on memory aids more often.
  • Challenges with Familiar Tasks: Struggling with tasks that were once routine, such as following a recipe or managing finances.
  • Difficulty Planning or Problem-Solving: Finding it hard to develop and follow a plan or work with numbers.
  • Confusion with Time or Place: Losing track of dates, seasons, or where they are.
  • Trouble with Visual Images and Spatial Relationships: Difficulty judging distances or interpreting visual cues.
  • Poor Judgment: Making uncharacteristically poor decisions with money or personal safety.
  • Withdrawal from Social or Work Activities: Becoming less engaged with hobbies or social gatherings.
  • Changes in Mood or Personality: Becoming easily upset, anxious, suspicious, or showing significant personality shifts.

Preparing for the Conversation

Bringing up your concerns with a loved one can be one of the most challenging steps. How you approach the conversation can significantly impact the outcome, so careful planning is essential.

  • Choose the Right Time and Place: Select a familiar, private, and quiet setting where neither of you will feel rushed or interrupted. The morning is often a better time for conversations, as a person with cognitive challenges may feel exhausted later in the day.
  • Involve Others: Consider whether involving another trusted family member or friend would be helpful. A one-on-one talk may be less threatening, but sometimes a small group can offer reassurance.
  • Gather Information: Write down specific instances of the behaviors that concern you. Focus on the factual details, such as dates or what happened, rather than your interpretation. This log will be invaluable when talking to a doctor.

How to Have a Compassionate Conversation

Your language and tone are critical. The goal is to express love and concern, not to accuse or blame. Use “I” statements to focus on your observations and feelings, which can help prevent the other person from feeling defensive.

  • Use “I” Statements: Start with phrases like, “I’ve noticed lately…” or “I’m concerned because…” rather than, “You’ve been forgetting things.”
  • Offer Specific Examples: Gently mention the specific incidents you’ve documented. For example, “I noticed you had trouble remembering where you put your keys a few times this week, and it worried me.”
  • Listen Empathetically: Be prepared for your loved one to be frightened, confused, or angry. Listen to their feelings without judgment. Validate their emotions and reassure them that you are there to support them unconditionally.
  • Focus on the Goal: Emphasize that seeking medical advice is about understanding what is happening, which can lead to peace of mind and better health management.

What to Do If They Resist

It is common for a person with cognitive issues to deny or minimize changes. If your first conversation is not successful, it may take multiple, patient attempts.

  1. Regroup and Try Again: If they are resistant, take a break from the conversation and try again in a few weeks. The timing or approach may need to be adjusted.
  2. Contact the Doctor Directly: If your loved one still refuses, you can contact their primary care physician. Under HIPAA, while the doctor cannot disclose information to you, you are legally permitted to share your observations with them. You can provide specific examples in writing before the appointment.
  3. Explore Other Trusted Voices: Sometimes, a person will listen to a different family member, a close friend, or a spiritual leader. Consider recruiting someone your loved one respects to join the conversation.

The Medical Evaluation

Encouraging a doctor’s visit is the most important action. The evaluation can determine if the symptoms are from a reversible condition or are a sign of a progressive issue like dementia.

  • Prepare for the Appointment: Go with your loved one. Bring your detailed log of symptoms and a list of all current medications. Be prepared to answer questions about medical history, sleep patterns, and mood.
  • The Diagnostic Process: The evaluation may include:
    • Physical Exam: To check for other health conditions.
    • Neurological Exam: To test reflexes, coordination, and senses.
    • Cognitive Testing: Brief screening tests like the Mini-Cog can be performed.
    • Lab Tests: Blood and urine tests can rule out conditions like vitamin deficiencies, thyroid problems, or infections that can mimic cognitive issues.
    • Brain Imaging: A CT or MRI scan can reveal signs of stroke, tumors, or changes in brain structure.

Practical Steps to Take Now

Regardless of the outcome of a medical evaluation, there are immediate, proactive steps you and your loved one can take to support brain health and safety.

  • Improve Overall Health: Encourage brain-healthy habits such as a balanced diet, regular physical exercise, and adequate sleep.
  • Boost Mental Activity: Promote cognitive stimulation through activities like puzzles, reading, learning new skills, or playing games.
  • Enhance Safety at Home: Ensure the living space is clutter-free and remove potential hazards. Consider using memory aids like large calendars or labeled items.
  • Use Visuals: Visual cues can be extremely helpful. For example, a picture of socks on the sock drawer can serve as a simple reminder.

Reversible vs. Progressive Cognitive Decline

Understanding the potential causes can help guide the conversation and treatment plan. A doctor’s evaluation is necessary to determine the root cause of the symptoms.

Feature Reversible Cognitive Decline Progressive Cognitive Decline (e.g., Dementia)
Cause Medical conditions (e.g., infections, thyroid issues), medication side effects, vitamin deficiencies, depression, sleep apnea Neurodegenerative diseases (e.g., Alzheimer's, Lewy Body dementia), strokes (vascular dementia)
Onset Often sudden or linked to a specific event or change in health Gradual, subtle, and insidious onset
Progression May stabilize or improve with appropriate medical treatment Worsens over time; new symptoms appear as the disease progresses
Treatment Targeting the underlying medical issue or cause Symptom management, supportive care, and potential use of medications to slow progression
Outlook Recovery is possible; symptoms may resolve completely Chronic condition that requires long-term management and planning

Taking Care of Yourself

As a caregiver or family member, it’s vital to recognize that supporting someone with cognitive impairment is demanding. Your own well-being is equally important for providing sustainable care.

  • Seek Out Support Groups: Connecting with other caregivers can provide a sense of community and shared experience.
  • Utilize Respite Care: Respite services can offer you a much-needed break from caregiving duties.
  • Educate Yourself: Learning about the condition is empowering and can help you develop coping strategies. A wealth of information is available from resources like the Alzheimer's Association.

Legal and Financial Planning

An early diagnosis provides a crucial window of opportunity for the person to be involved in legal and financial decisions. If cognitive decline progresses, these conversations become more difficult.

  • Discuss Preferences: Have an open and honest discussion about their wishes for end-of-life care, living arrangements, and financial management.
  • Establish Key Documents: Ensure a Healthcare Proxy/Medical Power of Attorney and a Financial Power of Attorney are in place. These legal documents allow a trusted person to make decisions on their behalf if they become unable to.
  • Consult an Elder Law Attorney: An elder law attorney can help navigate complex legal and financial issues, ensuring all documents are legally sound.

Conclusion

When you have concerns someone might have a cognitive impairment, the most loving action you can take is to address the issue directly and compassionately. It may be an emotional journey, but early detection provides the best possible path forward. By documenting your observations, having a sensitive conversation, and supporting a medical evaluation, you are taking a courageous step toward ensuring your loved one receives the best possible care and maintaining their quality of life. Remember to extend the same care and understanding to yourself as you navigate this process.

Frequently Asked Questions

Early signs often include forgetting recent information, misplacing items more frequently, repeatedly asking the same questions, or having trouble completing familiar tasks that were previously easy to do.

Choose a quiet and private time to talk. Use loving, non-judgmental language and start with "I" statements, such as "I've noticed... and I'm concerned." Provide specific, factual examples rather than broad accusations to help them understand your perspective.

Resistance is a common reaction, often stemming from fear or confusion. Remain patient and calm. If they become upset, take a break and try again later. If necessary, you can also share your concerns with their doctor directly, as long as you provide specific, objective observations.

A doctor will typically perform a physical exam, a neurological exam, and cognitive screening tests. They may also order lab work (blood/urine) to check for other health issues and brain imaging (CT/MRI) to rule out other problems.

No. While conditions like Alzheimer's are progressive, some cognitive issues can be caused by treatable conditions, such as vitamin deficiencies, thyroid problems, infections, or medication side effects. A medical evaluation is necessary to determine the cause.

It is wise to establish a Healthcare Proxy or Medical Power of Attorney for healthcare decisions and a Financial Power of Attorney for financial matters. Advance Directives can also specify wishes for end-of-life care.

Numerous resources exist to help, including support groups for caregivers, respite care services, and educational materials from organizations like the Alzheimer's Association. A social worker can also help navigate these resources.

References

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Medical Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider regarding personal health decisions.