Hiding possessions is a common, often distressing behavior experienced by individuals with dementia, causing frustration for both the person and their caregivers. This behavior is not intentional mischief but a symptom of cognitive decline. It stems from feelings of insecurity, a distorted sense of reality, and memory impairment. Knowing the common and unusual hiding places and having a plan can significantly reduce stress when an important item goes missing.
Understanding the Reasons for Hiding
Before starting a search, it is helpful to remember why this behavior occurs. Approaching the situation with empathy rather than anger is critical to a positive outcome.
The Need for Security and Control
In a world that is becoming increasingly confusing, hiding objects can give a person with dementia a sense of purpose and control. They may believe they are protecting their valuables from theft, even if no one is trying to steal them. This attempt to maintain control over their environment is a natural response to feeling vulnerable.
Memory Loss and Confusion
Memory problems mean that a person with dementia may forget where they put an item moments after hiding it. A “safe” spot they chose earlier may no longer seem logical. This can lead to a cycle of hiding, forgetting, and then becoming anxious or angry when the item is nowhere to be found.
Boredom and Rummaging
Some individuals with dementia hide or hoard items simply out of boredom. The act of rummaging through drawers or creating collections of items serves as a form of self-soothing activity. This keeps their hands and minds busy and fills a void left by the inability to engage in more complex tasks.
Fear and Paranoia
For many with dementia, suspicion and paranoia are part of the illness. They may become suspicious of others, including family members and caregivers, and hide items to prevent them from being taken. The person is not consciously trying to be difficult; they are genuinely frightened.
Common and Uncommon Hiding Spots
When an item goes missing, start with a calm and methodical search. Consider both the familiar and the highly unusual hiding places. Think like a detective, but also think like a person whose reality is shifting.
In-Room Hiding Places
- Bedrooms: Check under the mattress, inside pillowcases, between folded towels or sheets in drawers, inside shoes, and tucked into pockets of clothes hanging in the closet.
- Living Rooms: Look under and between couch cushions, inside bookshelves (especially hollowed-out books), or behind furniture and curtains.
- Kitchens: Items might be stored in the refrigerator, freezer, cookie jars, or cereal boxes. Unused kitchen gadgets or hollowed-out spaces in appliances are also potential spots.
- Bathrooms: Small items can end up in medicine cabinets, under sinks, in the laundry hamper, or inside empty pill bottles.
Less Obvious Locations
- Trash Cans and Bins: Always check the trash before taking it out. Important mail, keys, or even wallets can be accidentally thrown away.
- Outdoors: A person may hide an item in a potted plant, under a doormat, or in an outdoor storage shed. Check the mailbox for important papers.
- Vehicles: Check the glove compartment, under car seats, and in the trunk. The person may have placed the item there for safekeeping long ago.
Compassionate Strategies for Finding Hidden Items
When searching, avoid showing frustration. Keep your tone calm and reassuring. Here are some effective strategies.
A Systematic Search Plan
- Reassure, Don't Accuse: Approach the person calmly and say you're helping them look for their item. Avoid any language that suggests they lost or hid it intentionally.
- Start with the Most Common Spots: Develop a personal list of favorite hiding places over time. Check these spots first.
- Check Routine-Related Areas: If the person was looking for their keys, check near the door or where they last came in. For money, check near their wallet or purse.
- Use Distraction: If the person is agitated, try to redirect them with a favorite snack, music, or another activity. Sometimes the item will reappear when they are calmer.
The Power of Distraction and Decoy Items
Providing a “decoy” can prevent frustration for both parties. Keep a spare set of keys, an old wallet with play money, or an extra pair of glasses readily available. If the person is looking for their wallet, offer them the decoy. This can often satisfy their need to feel secure without risking the real valuables.
Comparison of Hiding Behavior and Hoarding
It is helpful to differentiate between a person hiding a few items and engaging in hoarding behavior, as the management approach can differ.
| Feature | Hiding Behavior | Hoarding Behavior |
|---|---|---|
| Motivation | Often driven by fear, confusion, or a desire for security. | Compulsive accumulation and difficulty discarding possessions, regardless of value. |
| Number of Items | Involves a specific item or a small collection. | Characterized by a large quantity of clutter that can interfere with daily life. |
| Impact | Temporary stress and frustration when an item is lost. | Can create safety hazards and unsanitary living conditions. |
| Caregiver Response | Compassionate searching, reassurance, and providing duplicates. | Requires a more long-term strategy involving gradual decluttering, prioritizing safety, and possibly professional help. |
Conclusion
Dealing with a loved one who hides items can be one of the most difficult challenges for a caregiver. Patience, empathy, and a systematic approach are essential. Remember that the behavior is a manifestation of the disease, not a personal slight. By understanding the reasons behind the behavior, knowing where to look, and employing compassionate strategies like distraction and decoy items, caregivers can manage these situations with less stress. For more resources and support, refer to organizations dedicated to Alzheimer's and dementia care, such as the Alzheimer's Association.
