How can you tell if a parent has dementia? A guide for adult children

Over 6 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s, the most common form of dementia, illustrating how widespread cognitive decline is among the aging population. Knowing how can you tell if a parent has dementia is a critical first step for many families toward understanding, care, and planning for the future.

Quick Summary

Recognizing dementia in a parent involves observing persistent cognitive and behavioral changes, such as increased memory problems, confusion with tasks, and notable shifts in personality or mood. These symptoms, which go beyond typical aging, often disrupt daily life and require a professional medical evaluation for an accurate diagnosis.

Key Points

• Dementia isn't Normal Aging: Mild forgetfulness is typical with age, but persistent memory loss, confusion, and changes in personality are not and should be evaluated by a doctor.

• Look for Cognitive Red Flags: Watch for repeated questions, difficulty with familiar tasks like managing money, and confusion regarding time and place.

• Monitor Behavioral Changes: Significant mood swings, increased anxiety, withdrawal from social life, and uncharacteristic paranoia can all be indicators of dementia.

• Document Your Observations: Keeping a journal of specific instances of confusion or memory loss will provide a physician with valuable information for an accurate diagnosis.

• Seek a Professional Medical Evaluation: A doctor can rule out other medical conditions that mimic dementia symptoms and provide an accurate diagnosis, which is crucial for determining the right course of action.

• Plan for the Future: An early diagnosis allows families to make important legal and financial preparations, and to access support resources that can improve a parent's quality of life.

• Approach with Empathy: When discussing your concerns with a parent, focus on their well-being and suggest a medical check-up in a calm, non-confrontational manner.

Recognizing the early warning signs of dementia

Identifying dementia often starts with subtle changes that a family member may notice before others. While some memory lapses are a normal part of aging, dementia-related symptoms are more persistent and tend to worsen over time. These signs can be categorized into several key areas: cognitive changes, behavioral shifts, and functional impairments.

Cognitive symptoms to watch for

Cognitive changes are frequently the first indicator that something more than typical age-related memory issues is occurring. Observing your parent's daily life can reveal patterns that warrant a closer look. Pay attention to the following:

• Memory Loss: Forgetting recently learned information is a classic sign. This is different from occasionally forgetting a name; it involves repeated questions, reliance on notes for previously known information, and forgetting important dates or events.
• Difficulty with familiar tasks: A person with dementia may struggle to complete tasks that were once routine, such as driving to a familiar location, managing a budget, or remembering the rules of a favorite game.
• Confusion with time or place: Disorientation about the current time, day, or season is common. Your parent might also become lost in familiar places or forget how they got somewhere.
• Trouble with planning or problem-solving: Following a recipe, paying bills, or making decisions can become increasingly difficult. This can manifest as an inability to follow multi-step instructions or to adapt to unexpected problems.
• Poor judgment: Changes in judgment can be a significant red flag. Examples include poor financial decisions, neglecting personal hygiene, or wearing inappropriate clothing for the weather.

Behavioral and psychological changes

Alongside cognitive decline, dementia often brings notable shifts in mood and personality. These changes can be particularly distressing for family members and can signal the need for evaluation.

A checklist for behavioral changes

• Mood Swings: Unpredictable and rapid shifts in mood, from calm to angry or upset, with little apparent reason.
• Personality Changes: Becoming uncharacteristically suspicious, fearful, or withdrawn. A once-sociable parent might become introverted and lose interest in hobbies.
• Apathy and Withdrawal: Losing initiative and becoming more passive. This can be seen in a lack of interest in social activities, hobbies, or conversation.
• Anxiety and Depression: Developing new or worsening feelings of anxiety and depression as they begin to recognize their cognitive struggles.
• Repetitive Actions: Performing the same tasks, gestures, or asking the same questions over and over again.

Functional impairments affecting daily life

As dementia progresses, functional skills that are necessary for independent living can deteriorate. These are often the most observable signs for those who see their parents regularly.

• Communication Difficulties: Having trouble following or joining a conversation. They may stop in the middle of a sentence with no idea how to continue or repeat themselves.
• Misplacing Things: Putting items in unusual places (e.g., car keys in the refrigerator) and being unable to retrace their steps to find them. Unlike simple forgetfulness, they may accuse others of stealing.
• Changes in Hygiene: Neglecting personal hygiene, such as bathing, brushing teeth, or changing clothes. The house may also become noticeably unkempt.
• Mobility Issues: While some changes are due to aging, dementia can cause problems with balance and coordination, leading to a shuffling gait or increased falls.

How to approach your parent and next steps

If you observe these signs, it's natural to be concerned. The first step is to document your observations. Keep a journal of specific incidents, including dates, times, and what happened. This information will be invaluable for a doctor.

Having an open and honest conversation with your parent is crucial, but it requires sensitivity. Approach the topic calmly and with empathy, focusing on your concern for their well-being rather than confronting them with a diagnosis. Suggest a doctor's visit for a general check-up, mentioning your concerns about memory or other issues.

For a more comprehensive understanding of the different types of dementia and their symptoms, a reliable source like the Alzheimer's Association provides valuable information and resources. Their website offers guides on what to expect, how to approach the conversation, and next steps for family caregivers.

Dementia vs. normal aging: A critical comparison

To better understand what you are seeing, it helps to distinguish between normal, age-related changes and potential dementia symptoms. This table provides a quick guide to help clarify the differences.

Feature	Normal Aging	Potential Dementia
Memory	Occasionally forgetting names or appointments but remembering them later.	Forgetting recently learned information, important events, and repeating the same questions.
Decision-Making	Making a questionable decision once in a while.	Exhibiting poor judgment consistently, such as falling for scams or neglecting basic self-care.
Daily Tasks	Needing help with new technology or a specific task.	Struggling to complete familiar, routine tasks like cooking a meal or managing finances.
Personality	Developing specific ways of doing things over time.	Experiencing noticeable, unexplained shifts in mood and personality, becoming paranoid or fearful.
Communication	Sometimes searching for a word.	Frequent difficulty following conversations, stopping abruptly, or repeating themselves.
Misplacing Items	Temporarily losing items like keys or glasses.	Routinely putting items in illogical places and accusing others of theft.

The importance of a professional diagnosis

If the signs align more with the dementia column, the next step is to schedule a medical appointment. A proper diagnosis from a physician is essential for several reasons:

1. Rule out other conditions: Many treatable conditions can mimic dementia symptoms, including thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies, medication side effects, or depression. A doctor can perform tests to rule these out.
2. Early intervention: For some types of dementia, and certainly for the treatable causes, early diagnosis can lead to interventions that may slow the progression of symptoms and improve quality of life.
3. Planning for the future: A diagnosis allows families to begin planning for legal, financial, and care needs. This includes establishing powers of attorney and making decisions about long-term care.
4. Accessing support: A diagnosis opens the door to support services, including support groups for caregivers, educational resources, and specialized care programs.

The diagnostic process

A comprehensive diagnostic process typically involves several steps:

1. Medical history: The doctor will take a detailed medical history, including any symptoms observed by family members.
2. Physical and neurological exams: These can help rule out other conditions and assess motor function.
3. Cognitive tests: A series of questions and tasks will evaluate memory, thinking, and problem-solving skills.
4. Brain imaging: CT or MRI scans may be used to look for physical changes in the brain or rule out conditions like tumors or strokes.
5. Laboratory tests: Blood tests can check for deficiencies or other health issues that could cause symptoms.

Conclusion: Facing a diagnosis with empathy

Recognizing the signs of dementia in a parent can be a challenging and emotional experience. It requires careful observation, patience, and a willingness to initiate difficult conversations. By focusing on your loved one's well-being and seeking professional medical guidance, you can navigate this journey with knowledge and compassion. An early and accurate diagnosis is the most powerful tool you can have to help your parent, enabling you to provide the best possible care and support as their needs evolve.

Understanding the distinction between normal aging and concerning symptoms is the first step toward finding clarity. While the road ahead may be uncertain, facing it with accurate information and a supportive approach will make a profound difference for both you and your parent.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the very first sign of dementia?

The very first sign often involves memory loss that affects daily life, such as forgetting important dates or events and asking for the same information repeatedly. It goes beyond typical absentmindedness.

How can you tell if a parent has dementia versus normal age-related memory issues?

Normal aging includes occasional forgetfulness, while dementia involves more persistent and progressive issues. Dementia-related memory loss significantly interferes with daily routines, whereas normal age-related changes do not.

What kind of doctor should I see if I suspect my parent has dementia?

Start with their primary care physician. They can perform an initial assessment and refer you to a specialist, such as a neurologist, geriatrician, or psychiatrist, for a more comprehensive evaluation.

Can dementia symptoms be caused by something else?

Yes. Numerous treatable conditions can cause dementia-like symptoms, including depression, thyroid problems, vitamin deficiencies, and medication side effects. A thorough medical evaluation is necessary to determine the cause.

How do you talk to a parent you think has dementia?

Approach the conversation with empathy and compassion. Focus on your concerns for their health and well-being, rather than on the potential diagnosis. You might say, "I've noticed you've been more forgetful, and I'm a little concerned. How about we both go for a check-up?"

What are some behavioral signs of dementia?

Behavioral signs can include changes in mood and personality, such as becoming irritable, anxious, or withdrawn. Other indicators are poor judgment, repetitive actions, and a loss of interest in hobbies.

Is it possible for a person with dementia to hide their symptoms?

In the early stages, it is common for individuals to develop coping mechanisms to hide or compensate for their memory loss. They may rely on family members or notes, or withdraw from social situations that highlight their difficulties.