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Is it polite to say "elderly"? Exploring respectful language for older adults

4 min read

According to a 2019 study published by the National Institutes of Health, the term "elderly" has become increasingly outdated and is often perceived as a biased, discriminatory label. Learning why this term is no longer polite is key to using respectful, person-first language when referring to older individuals.

Quick Summary

The term "elderly" is increasingly viewed as outdated and potentially offensive due to its negative connotations of frailty and dependency. This article explains why the language we use matters, explores the shortcomings of terms like "elderly," and provides a comprehensive guide to respectful, age-inclusive alternatives for referring to older adults.

Key Points

  • Term is Outdated: The word "elderly" is no longer the preferred term and is often viewed as outdated and potentially offensive.

  • Negative Connotations: The word carries negative stereotypes implying frailty, incompetence, and dependency, which do not reflect the diversity of older adults.

  • Promotes "Othering": Using "the elderly" creates a homogenous group, ignoring the individuality and unique experiences of older people.

  • Prefer Neutral Alternatives: Widely accepted and respectful terms include "older adults," "older people," and "people over 65".

  • Be Specific: The best practice is to be specific by referring to individuals by name or by using clear, factual age ranges, especially in formal contexts.

  • Person-First Language: Frame your language to put the person before their age-related characteristic, for instance, saying "older adult with a hearing impairment".

In This Article

The Case Against the Term "Elderly"

While historically used as a neutral, or even polite, descriptor, the word "elderly" has fallen out of favor in professional and social circles. Style guides from organizations like the American Medical Association (AMA), American Psychological Association (APA), and Associated Press (AP) now discourage its use. The discomfort with the term stems from several key issues:

  • It creates an "othering" effect: Using a collective label like "the elderly" or referring to someone as an "elderly person" generalizes a diverse population into a homogenous, impersonal group. This reduces individuals to a single characteristic—their age—and ignores their unique experiences, abilities, and identities.
  • It implies negative stereotypes: Many people associate the word "elderly" with frailty, dependence, and physical or mental decline. This perpetuates harmful ageist stereotypes that don't reflect the vibrant, active lives of many older adults. The term carries a condescending or paternalistic tone for those who are not frail.
  • It lacks specificity: The word is vague and does not define a clear age range, leading to broad, unhelpful generalizations. A 65-year-old and a 95-year-old have vastly different life experiences and needs, yet the single label of "elderly" lumps them together.

Why Respectful Language for Older Adults Matters

Language is a powerful tool that shapes perceptions and attitudes. Using thoughtful, respectful terminology for older adults is not just about political correctness; it is about promoting dignity, equity, and trust. Ageist language has real consequences, as studies have shown it can contribute to negative health outcomes and reduced quality of life for older individuals.

By choosing our words carefully, we help to combat the systemic issue of ageism. Inclusive language practices recognize that aging is a normal, lifelong process, and that older adults are not a problem to be solved or a vulnerable group to be pitied. A shift toward more person-centered language empowers older individuals and challenges the damaging narratives that often surround growing older.

Comparison of Terms for Addressing Older Adults

Term Connotation When to Use When to Avoid
Older Adults Neutral, respectful, person-first. Recommended for general, accurate reference in most contexts. When a more specific age or individual reference is needed.
Seniors / Senior Citizens Can be viewed as outdated or stigmatizing by some, though others accept it. Acceptable in formal contexts like programs or discounts (e.g., "senior center") or when an individual expresses a preference for it. In general conversation, as it can imply frailty and is disliked by some.
The Elderly Outdated, generalized, and potentially offensive. Almost never. It is discouraged by leading health and media organizations. All the time. This term perpetuates negative stereotypes and can be dehumanizing.
Age Ranges (e.g., people 65+) Factual, specific, and non-biased. For specific, data-driven reporting or when clear context is required. In casual conversation, as it is overly formal.
Elders Respected, knowledgeable, and wise. Often used in a cultural or familial context (e.g., "tribal elders"). Considered a respectful title. As a generic replacement for "older adults" unless culturally appropriate, as it can sound formal or awkward in everyday use.

Practical Tips for Using Age-Inclusive Language

Using respectful, age-inclusive language is a straightforward practice that requires mindfulness and empathy. Follow these tips to ensure your communication is always appropriate and considerate:

  • Be specific whenever possible: Instead of a broad label, use specific details. For example, instead of "an elderly woman," say "a woman in her 70s" or "a woman named Mary, who is 89".
  • Use person-first language: Place the person before their age-related descriptor. For example, say "older adults with mobility issues" instead of "the mobility-impaired elderly".
  • Engage with them as an individual: Recognize that older adults are not a monolithic group. They have unique personalities, preferences, and contributions. Address them respectfully as you would anyone else.
  • Avoid using patronizing terms: Steer clear of terms of endearment like "dear" or "sweetie" when interacting with an older adult you don't know personally, as this can be condescending.
  • When in doubt, use a neutral term: If you are unsure, "older adult" is a safe, widely accepted term. However, the best practice is to simply refer to the person by name.

Conclusion

While the term "elderly" once served as a widely accepted descriptor, it is now viewed by many as an outdated and potentially disrespectful word. Its association with frailty and its tendency to generalize a diverse population are contrary to the principles of age-inclusive communication. Adopting alternative, person-first language such as "older adults," or using more specific details, is a simple yet impactful way to promote dignity and respect for individuals of all ages. By carefully considering our word choices, we can foster a more inclusive society that values every person's life experiences and contributions, regardless of their age.

Additional resources

  • For more on the impact of language, read the full research article on the ethical issues surrounding this outdated term in medicine.

Frequently Asked Questions

The term "elderly" has fallen out of favor because it carries negative connotations of frailty, dependency, and decline. Many people find it condescending or impersonal because it lumps a diverse group of individuals into a single, stereotyped category.

A widely recommended alternative is "older adults." This term is neutral, person-first, and avoids the negative stereotypes associated with "elderly". In specific contexts, you can also use phrases like "people over 65" or simply refer to the person by their name.

The term "seniors" is generally more acceptable than "elderly" but still carries some baggage. It is common and accepted in formal contexts like "senior centers" or for specific discounts, but some people still prefer the term "older adults".

The term "elder" can be highly respectful, particularly within specific cultural or tribal contexts, or to denote a person of great wisdom. However, it can sound awkward or inappropriate in a general social setting. For most everyday conversations, "older adult" is a more neutral and widely accepted choice.

The most respectful approach is to address them by their name, using a formal title like Mr. or Ms. unless they indicate otherwise. If you need a more general term, "older adult" is a safe and respectful option.

Using a specific age range, such as "people aged 75 to 84," is factual and avoids the vague, potentially inaccurate generalizations that terms like "elderly" create. This approach is often used in research and journalism to provide clear, unbiased information.

Age-inclusive language uses words that promote a positive and respectful attitude toward people of all ages. It focuses on the person first, avoids harmful stereotypes, and recognizes that aging is a normal part of the human experience.

References

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Medical Disclaimer

This content is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider regarding personal health decisions.