Respectful Alternatives to Outdated Terms
Choosing the right language when speaking with or about older individuals is a sign of respect and an important aspect of age-inclusive communication. Many terms once considered standard are now viewed as negative or patronizing. Instead of relying on potentially harmful language, consider these alternatives.
Why “Older Adult” is the Preferred Term
Most major institutions, including the American Medical Association (AMA) and the Associated Press (AP), have adopted “older adult” or “older person” as preferred terminology. The rationale is that these terms are neutral, accurate, and avoid the negative stereotypes associated with phrases like “elderly” or “the aged”.
- It’s a person-first term, putting the person before their age.
- It acknowledges the wide range of health, ability, and experience that exists within the older population.
- Unlike other labels that imply frailty or decline, “older adult” frames aging as a normal part of the human experience.
Specific and Contextual Language
When describing specific individuals or populations, using precise language is always best. Instead of generalizing, add context to your communication. For example, rather than referring to “elderly people,” one could say “adults over 65” or “individuals aged 75 to 84”. This approach adds accuracy and treats individuals as distinct people rather than a monolithic group.
Other Positive and Respectful Options
For different contexts, several other terms can be used with care:
- Senior/Senior Citizen: While these were once common, some older adults find them patronizing or outdated. A survey on the NPR website indicated many people dislike these terms. It is best to use them only when someone has expressed a preference for them or in specific, formal contexts like a “senior discount” program.
- Elder: This term can be very respectful, particularly in cultures where elders hold a revered status. However, it should be used cautiously in broader contexts, as it can sound formal or inappropriate, depending on the situation. In some American contexts, its use should be reserved for American Indian/Alaska Natives for whom the term is culturally appropriate.
- Seasoned Soul or Golden Ager: These are positive, but more poetic, options that might not be suitable for formal settings. They can be great for writing or more casual, appreciative conversations where you want to highlight the wisdom and experience of an individual.
Comparison of Terms for Older Individuals
Understanding the nuances of different words is key to respectful communication. The table below compares common terms, highlighting their implications and ideal use cases.
| Term | Connotation | Best Used | Use with Caution | Avoid Entirely |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Older Adult / Older Person | Neutral, respectful, person-first. | Preferred for most general and formal writing. In conversation, if unsure, start here. | Not always specific enough if age is a relevant detail. | N/A |
| Senior / Senior Citizen | Varies, can be neutral or patronizing. | In contexts where the individual prefers it, or for specific programs (e.g., “senior center” or “senior discount”). | When addressing someone directly, unless you know their preference. | Using without confirming preference can be patronizing. |
| Elder / Matriarch / Patriarch | Respectful, implies wisdom, experience, and authority. | When a person holds such a position within a family, community, or culture. | Outside of specific cultural or familial contexts. | N/A |
| “The Elderly” / “The Aged” | Often dehumanizing, implies frailty and illness. | N/A | When referring to groups, as it lumps people into a single category. | General and academic use. |
| “Geezer” / “Old Fogy” | Derogatory, pejorative. | N/A | N/A | Always. |
Key Considerations for Respectful Communication
Beyond the specific words you choose, several principles guide respectful intergenerational communication:
- Ask for Preference: The simplest and most respectful approach is to ask an individual how they prefer to be addressed. You can say, “How would you like me to address you?” or “What should I call you?”.
- Use Formal Titles Initially: When in doubt, default to formal titles like “Mr.” or “Ms.” followed by their last name. This is a safe and respectful way to start. Wait for them to invite you to use their first name.
- Avoid Patronizing Language: Steer clear of infantilizing terms like “dear,” “sweetie,” or “honey”. This applies to everyone, but is particularly important to remember when speaking with older people, as it can be deeply demeaning.
- Don't Assume: Avoid making assumptions about someone’s abilities, interests, or technology proficiency based on their age. Many older adults are active, tech-savvy, and engaged in a wide range of activities.
- Focus on the Person, Not the Age: When communicating, center the conversation on the person as an individual rather than their age. Age should only be mentioned if it is relevant to the topic being discussed.
Conclusion
Choosing what to call someone who's old requires thoughtfulness and respect. The most inclusive and widely recommended terms are “older adult” or “older person,” as they are neutral and person-centered. Avoiding outdated terms like “the elderly” and being mindful of contextual differences for words like “senior” are crucial steps toward fostering age-inclusive communication. Ultimately, the best approach is to treat every individual with dignity and, when appropriate, simply ask for their preferred form of address. This approach not only prevents missteps but also honors the individual experience and wisdom that comes with age. For more on age-inclusive communication, check out the guidelines from the National Institute on Aging.
