What to do if you suspect someone has dementia?: A Guide for Concerned Families

According to the CDC, 4.0% of adults aged 65 and older in the U.S. reported having a dementia diagnosis in 2022. If you’ve observed concerning changes in a loved one, knowing what to do if you suspect someone has dementia is the critical first step toward getting help and support.

Quick Summary

Gently and calmly express your concerns to the individual and encourage a medical evaluation with their doctor, gathering specific, observable examples of changes to share with healthcare professionals. Focus on initiating an open dialogue about getting a diagnosis and creating a plan to provide compassionate support.

Key Points

• Start the conversation calmly: Address concerns about cognitive changes gently and in a private, non-confrontational setting.

• Prepare with specific examples: Document clear, concrete examples of memory or behavioral changes to discuss with a healthcare professional.

• Seek a medical evaluation: Encourage your loved one to see their primary care doctor to rule out other causes and pursue a diagnosis.

• Assemble your support team: Engage family and friends to share responsibilities and provide emotional and practical support.

• Prioritize future planning: Begin legal and financial planning early to prepare for the progressive nature of the condition.

• Find credible resources: Connect with organizations like the Alzheimer's Association for guidance and support group information.

Recognizing the Early Signs of Cognitive Change

Not all memory loss is a sign of dementia, but some indicators are more serious than age-related forgetfulness. It's important to distinguish between normal changes and those that may warrant concern. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) outline clear differences that can help you understand what you're observing.

Common Signs of Concern

• Memory Loss: Forgetting recent events or information learned, as opposed to sometimes misplacing keys.
• Difficulty with Routine Tasks: Trouble completing familiar tasks, such as cooking a favorite recipe or managing a budget.
• Problems with Words: Struggling to follow a conversation or find the right words, compared to just occasionally struggling.
• Spatial and Visual Difficulties: Losing one's way in a familiar neighborhood or having trouble judging distances.
• Poor Judgment: Making questionable financial decisions or neglecting personal hygiene.
• Changes in Personality or Mood: Displaying sudden, uncharacteristic irritability, anxiety, or paranoia.

Normal Aging vs. Dementia Symptoms

Symptom Category	Normal Age-Related Change	Potential Dementia Symptom
Memory	Occasionally forgetting names or appointments but recalling them later.	Forgetting newly learned information frequently; asking the same questions repeatedly.
Problem-Solving	Making an occasional error when balancing a checkbook.	Inability to follow a plan or work with numbers.
Daily Tasks	Needing help with a new TV remote.	Finding it difficult to complete familiar, routine tasks.
Time & Place	Forgetting the day of the week but remembering it later.	Becoming disoriented about dates, seasons, or where they are.
Visual Perception	Experiencing vision changes due to cataracts.	Trouble reading, judging distance, and determining color or contrast.
Communication	Sometimes struggling to find the right word.	Stopping in the middle of a conversation with no idea how to continue.
Judgment	Making a poor decision once in a while.	Exhibiting poor judgment with money or grooming.
Social Withdrawal	Feeling tired of social obligations.	Losing interest in hobbies and social activities.

How to Approach the Conversation About Your Suspicions

Starting a conversation about potential dementia symptoms can be difficult and sensitive. Timing and tone are critical to ensuring your loved one feels supported, not judged.

Preparing for the Talk

1. Choose the right moment: Find a quiet, calm time when both of you are relaxed and won't be interrupted. Avoid high-stress situations or public places.
2. Come from a place of love: Frame your concerns around your care for their well-being. Start with, "I'm concerned about you, and I want to make sure you're okay."
3. Use specific, non-judgmental examples: Instead of vague statements like, "You've been forgetful," describe an actual event: "I noticed you had trouble remembering our neighbor's name yesterday, and I was worried."
4. Offer support: Suggest going to the doctor together. Reassure them that seeking a diagnosis is about understanding what is happening and finding the best way to move forward.
5. Listen patiently: Your loved one may be scared, angry, or in denial. Give them space to express their feelings without interrupting or getting defensive yourself.

Steps to Take with Healthcare Professionals

If your loved one agrees to a medical evaluation, preparing for the appointment can help ensure a more accurate assessment. The following steps are helpful for all involved.

At the Doctor's Office

• Create a detailed list of concerns: Document specific examples of memory lapses, changes in behavior, or difficulties with daily tasks. Include when these changes began and how frequently they occur.
• Bring a second person: Having another family member or close friend present can provide additional perspectives and help remember key information.
• Rule out other conditions: As the NHS notes, memory problems can have other causes like depression, thyroid issues, or medication side effects. The doctor will likely perform tests to rule these out.
• Expect a cognitive test: The doctor will likely administer a brief memory or cognitive test during the visit. A more comprehensive evaluation may be necessary later.

If a Referral is Needed

If the primary care doctor cannot make a diagnosis, they will refer your loved one to a specialist, such as a neurologist, geriatrician, or psychiatrist with experience in dementia. The specialist may order further, more complex tests, such as brain imaging.

Building a Support Network and Planning for the Future

An early diagnosis provides opportunities for treatment, planning, and accessing support services. It empowers both the individual and their family to prepare for future needs.

Resources and Planning

• Explore support groups: Connecting with others who have similar experiences can be incredibly valuable. Support groups for both individuals with dementia and their caregivers can provide emotional and practical guidance.
• Learn about financial and legal planning: As cognitive function declines, it's wise to plan for legal and financial matters. This includes establishing powers of attorney for both healthcare and finances.
• Access community resources: Local organizations often provide services like adult day care, respite care, and home health assistance. These services can help manage the caregiver's burden.
• Create a care team: Involve family members and close friends to share responsibilities. Regular family meetings can ensure everyone stays informed and can contribute effectively.
• Maintain health and wellness: Encourage the individual to stay as active and engaged as possible. Healthy habits can slow progression and improve quality of life. For more information on navigating care, consult organizations like the Alzheimer's Association.

Conclusion

Navigating the possibility of a dementia diagnosis is challenging but manageable with the right steps. Starting with gentle, empathetic communication and pursuing a medical evaluation is crucial. The path forward involves education, planning, and building a strong support network. With a proactive and compassionate approach, families can face this journey together, ensuring their loved one receives the best possible care and maintains the highest quality of life. An early diagnosis is not an ending but an important step toward securing a future filled with dignity and support.

• For more information on the steps following a dementia diagnosis, visit the Alzheimer's Association.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if my loved one refuses to see a doctor?

If they refuse, don't pressure them aggressively. Give it some time and try again later, perhaps with another trusted family member present. If necessary, you can speak to their doctor directly about your concerns.

How do I distinguish between normal aging and dementia symptoms?

While normal aging involves occasional forgetfulness, dementia symptoms are more persistent and disruptive. For instance, forgetting recent events frequently is more concerning than occasionally misplacing car keys.

Who is the best person to initiate the conversation?

The ideal person is someone with whom they have a close, trusting relationship. It can be a one-on-one conversation or involve multiple family members, depending on what makes the individual most comfortable.

What happens during the initial doctor's visit?

The doctor will likely ask questions about your observations and perform a brief cognitive test. They may also order blood or urine tests to rule out other potential causes of the symptoms.

What are the first steps after a dementia diagnosis?

After a diagnosis, focus on educating yourself and creating a support network. Connect with organizations like the Alzheimer's Association, explore treatment options, and begin legal and financial planning.

Is there any treatment for dementia?

While there is no cure for most types of dementia, treatments can help manage symptoms and improve quality of life. Early diagnosis allows for a broader range of options to be explored with healthcare professionals.

How can caregivers cope with the stress?

Caregivers should seek support from family, friends, and support groups. Respite care, where someone else takes over caregiving duties for a period, can also prevent burnout. It's crucial for caregivers to prioritize their own health.