What to do when you suspect someone has dementia?

According to the World Health Organization, over 55 million people worldwide live with dementia, a number that is projected to grow significantly.

Observing puzzling changes in a loved one can be distressing, and knowing what to do when you suspect someone has dementia is the critical first step towards getting support and a proper diagnosis.

Quick Summary

When you suspect a loved one has dementia, the crucial first steps include careful, non-intrusive observation, detailed documentation of changes in behavior and cognitive function, and preparing for a sensitive conversation with them and a medical professional. Proper diagnosis is essential for future planning and care.

Key Points

• Observe and Document: Keep a detailed, non-judgmental record of specific cognitive and behavioral changes you observe.

• Have a Compassionate Conversation: Approach your loved one with sensitivity and concern, not accusation, framing your observations as worries about their health.

• Seek a Professional Diagnosis: Only a doctor can accurately diagnose dementia, rule out other causes, and determine the best course of action.

• Prepare for the Doctor: Gather your documented observations, a full list of medications, and prepare questions for the medical appointment.

• Understand the Diagnostic Process: Know that a comprehensive evaluation, including cognitive and physical tests, is necessary for an accurate diagnosis.

• Explore Next Steps and Support: Following a diagnosis, work with professionals to create a care plan and leverage support resources like the Alzheimer's Association.

Recognizing the Early Signs of Dementia

Many different conditions can cause symptoms that mimic dementia. However, some early indicators are common across various forms. Observing these signs can help you determine the next steps.

Cognitive Changes

• Memory Loss: Frequently forgetting recently learned information, important dates, or events. Unlike normal age-related forgetfulness, these are significant and persistent.
• Difficulty Planning and Problem-Solving: Struggles with familiar tasks like paying bills, following a recipe, or organizing a list. These tasks may take much longer than before.
• Challenges with Familiar Tasks: Trouble completing routine tasks at home or work, such as driving to a familiar location or remembering the rules of a favorite game.
• Disorientation: Losing track of dates, seasons, or the passage of time. They might forget where they are or how they got there.
• Trouble with Visual and Spatial Relationships: Difficulty with judging distance, seeing colors, or reading. This can impact driving and balance.

Behavioral and Personality Shifts

• Mood Changes: Experiencing frequent mood swings, anxiety, depression, or fear. They may become easily upset or withdrawn from social activities.
• Personality Changes: Becoming more withdrawn, suspicious, confused, or fearful. Their personality may change in ways that are uncharacteristic for them.
• Poor Judgment: Making questionable decisions with finances, personal hygiene, or other day-to-day matters.
• Withdrawal from Social Activities: Losing interest in hobbies, sports, or social events they once enjoyed.

Documenting Your Observations

Creating a detailed record of the observed changes is one of the most powerful things you can do. This information will be invaluable to a doctor who is trying to make an accurate diagnosis. Be as specific as possible.

1. Start a Log: Use a notebook or a digital file to track changes. Date each entry.
2. Describe Specific Events: Instead of writing "they seem forgetful," write "On September 21, 2025, they asked what day it was three times in 10 minutes" or "Couldn't remember the name of their grandson they've known for 10 years during our conversation on Saturday."
3. Note Context: Did the behavior occur after a stressful event? At a particular time of day? Is it a sudden change or a gradual decline?
4. Record Other Symptoms: Document any other health issues, changes in medication, or physical complaints.

How to Have the Conversation

Approaching your loved one requires sensitivity and compassion. They may be scared, in denial, or not recognize the changes themselves. Here's how to navigate this difficult talk.

1. Choose the Right Time and Place: Have the conversation in a quiet, private, and comfortable setting where you won't be rushed or interrupted.
2. Use "I" Statements: Instead of accusing them with "You always forget...", express your concern using phrases like, "I've noticed some changes lately and I'm a little worried. I want to make sure you're doing okay."
3. Express Concern, Not Judgment: Frame the conversation from a place of love and concern for their well-being, not as a critique of their abilities.
4. Suggest a Doctor's Visit: Frame the medical appointment as a way to understand what is happening and address your shared concerns.

The Importance of a Professional Diagnosis

It's crucial to understand that only a qualified medical professional can accurately diagnose dementia. Self-diagnosis or assuming based on observation can lead to misinformation and missed opportunities. Other conditions, such as depression, vitamin deficiencies, or medication side effects, can cause similar symptoms and may be treatable.

An official diagnosis is the gateway to exploring treatment options, accessing support services, and making important legal and financial plans for the future. It also allows the individual and family to prepare for what lies ahead.

Preparing for the Doctor's Appointment

To ensure the appointment is as productive as possible, gather all relevant information and prepare for what the doctor will need. The doctor may be a primary care physician, a geriatric specialist, or a neurologist.

• Bring Your Notes: Have your documentation of behavioral and cognitive changes handy.
• List of Medications: Prepare a complete list of all medications, supplements, and vitamins the person is taking.
• Personal and Family Health History: Be prepared to provide details about the person's medical history, including any family history of dementia or other neurological conditions.
• Prepare Questions: Write down any questions you have for the doctor beforehand.

The Diagnostic Process: What to Expect

The diagnostic process for dementia is thorough and involves a variety of assessments. It is designed to rule out other causes and arrive at an accurate conclusion.

Evaluation Type	What It Involves	Purpose
Initial Consultation	Discussion of symptoms and medical history.	To understand the patient's and family's concerns and gather preliminary information.
Cognitive Testing	Quick, standardized tests to assess memory, language, and problem-solving skills.	To measure cognitive function and provide a baseline for future comparison.
Physical Examination	Checks blood pressure, reflexes, and other physical signs.	To rule out other physical conditions causing cognitive changes.
Neurological Exam	More in-depth assessment of the nervous system.	To check for issues with balance, reflexes, and sensory function.
Brain Imaging	MRI or CT scans to identify strokes, tumors, or other abnormalities.	To look for structural changes in the brain or rule out other causes.

Next Steps After a Diagnosis

If the diagnosis confirms dementia, it marks the start of a new journey. This is not the end of a person's life, but a new phase that requires adaptation and support. A care plan can be created with the help of medical professionals, covering medication management, therapy, and environmental adjustments.

Seeking support from organizations can also be hugely beneficial. For comprehensive resources and guidance, visit the Alzheimer's Association website. They offer invaluable information for both individuals with dementia and their caregivers.

Conclusion: Navigating the Path Forward

Suspecting a loved one has dementia is a challenging experience, but taking proactive steps is the most compassionate and effective course of action. Recognizing the signs, meticulously documenting observations, and having a difficult but loving conversation paves the way for a professional diagnosis. This process, though daunting, opens the door to informed decision-making, proactive care planning, and accessing crucial support systems. While the path ahead may be uncertain, facing it with knowledge and preparation will ensure the best possible outcomes for your loved one and your family.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is memory loss a definite sign of dementia?

While significant memory loss is a common symptom, it is not a definite sign. Many other conditions, including aging, stress, or other health issues, can cause memory problems. A professional medical diagnosis is necessary to confirm dementia.

How should I talk to my family member about my concerns?

Approach the conversation with love and concern, not judgment. Choose a private, calm setting and use "I" statements to express your worries. Avoid confrontational language and focus on suggesting a doctor's visit to understand the changes better.

What's the difference between dementia and Alzheimer's?

Dementia is a general term for a decline in mental ability severe enough to interfere with daily life. Alzheimer's is the most common type of dementia, accounting for 60-80% of cases. There are other types, such as vascular dementia or Lewy body dementia.

What if my loved one refuses to see a doctor?

This can be a difficult situation. Continue to express your concern gently and non-confrontationally. You can also talk to their primary care physician on your own to seek advice on how to proceed. A doctor may be able to suggest strategies for encouraging them to attend an appointment.

Can I get a diagnosis for someone else?

No, a doctor cannot legally diagnose someone based on your observations alone. The person in question must be present and evaluated. However, your detailed documentation will be extremely helpful to the doctor during the assessment.

What kind of doctor should we see?

You can start with the person's primary care physician. If they suspect dementia, they will likely refer you to a specialist, such as a neurologist or a geriatric specialist, who has more specific expertise in these conditions.

Is dementia reversible?

Most forms of dementia, including Alzheimer's, are not reversible. However, some conditions that cause dementia-like symptoms, such as thyroid problems or vitamin deficiencies, are treatable and may improve cognitive function. A professional diagnosis is essential to determine the cause and potential outcomes.