Understanding the Psychology of Hiding
For many seniors, particularly those with dementia or other cognitive impairments, the act of hiding or hoarding belongings is not a deliberate attempt to cause frustration. Instead, it is often a manifestation of underlying fears, confusion, or a desire for control. A person might hide money out of a fear that it will be stolen, or they may hoard items like medicine or food because they feel insecure about their future needs. The behavior can also stem from a loss of organizational skills, where they simply forget where they placed an item, or it can be a way to occupy themselves when bored or anxious. Approaching the situation with empathy and understanding is crucial for a caregiver's success.
Common Hiding Spots in the Home
Caregivers often find themselves searching for items in predictable, and some surprisingly, unusual places. While the behavior is not malicious, it can create frustrating and sometimes dangerous situations. Knowing where to look can save time and prevent a high-stress confrontation.
Kitchen & Dining Areas
The kitchen is a high-traffic area, and it is a common place for items to be stashed. Think like a person trying to protect their most prized possessions.
- Inside food containers or boxes in the pantry.
- Tucked away in the freezer or refrigerator.
- Underneath the kitchen sink among cleaning supplies.
- Inside old appliances that are no longer in use.
Bedrooms & Closets
The bedroom is a personal sanctuary, and therefore, a prime location for hiding things that a senior wants to keep secure from others.
- Underneath the mattress or inside pillowcases (a classic but still common spot).
- Tucked into shoes or folded among clothes in drawers.
- Inside coat pockets that aren't used often.
- In a hollowed-out book on a bookshelf.
Other Unusual Locations
Some hiding spots are so unexpected that they are often overlooked during a casual search. These are the places that test a caregiver's patience and detective skills.
- In air vents or taped behind picture frames,.
- Inside vases, flower pots, or under the soil of houseplants.
- Taped to the underside of a table or chair.
- Inside the tank of a toilet or at the bottom of a wastebasket.
Comparison of Typical vs. Unusual Hiding Spots
Understanding the contrast can help a caregiver structure their search more effectively, moving from the most likely to the least likely places.
| Hiding Spot Category | Examples of Hiding Places | Caregiver Strategy |
|---|---|---|
| Common & Familiar | Under mattress, dresser drawers, closet pockets. | Check first and regularly. These are often used due to familiar habit. |
| Slightly Concealed | Behind picture frames, in books, inside coat pockets. | A more thorough search is needed. Think creatively about where a person might want to 'protect' an item. |
| Unexpected & Secure | In freezer, flower pots, air vents, toilet tank. | These require a systematic, exhaustive search. Remember that the person's logic may not align with a typical person's. |
| In Plain Sight | Inside a regular-looking mug, or in a basket of benign items. | Requires attention to detail. Items might be blended in with everyday clutter. |
What to Do When Items Are Hidden or Hoarded
Navigating the process of finding and managing hidden items requires a sensitive approach. The goal is to reduce both the senior’s anxiety and the caregiver’s stress.
Protect Important Valuables
One of the most effective prevention tactics is to remove and secure any truly valuable or important items, such as financial documents, passports, checkbooks, and expensive jewelry. Move them to a secure location where the senior cannot access them. You may want to discuss the legal and financial protections available to seniors with resources like The Senior Source's Elder Financial Safety Center, which can provide guidance on avoiding scams and managing finances safely.
Use Backup and Substitute Items
For items that are frequently misplaced, like keys, glasses, or the TV remote, keeping a backup set can save a lot of time and frustration. If the item is a source of comfort but not critical, like a wallet with no money, use a substitute. You can give them an old, expired credit card or a spare set of keys that don't open anything. This can satisfy their need to feel in control and secure without creating a problem.
Redirect and Distract
When a person with dementia is rummaging, sometimes the best strategy is not to challenge them, but to redirect their focus. You can create a designated 'rummage drawer' or box filled with safe, interesting items they can sort through. This can provide a sense of purpose and occupation that fills their time and reduces anxiety.
Stay Calm and Reassuring
It is easy to get frustrated when an item goes missing, especially when the person with dementia becomes paranoid and accuses others of stealing. It is important to stay calm, avoid arguing, and reassure them that the item will be found. Their reality is different, and a defensive reaction can worsen the situation. Try saying, “Let's find it together” and gently guide them to check some of their usual hiding spots.
Create a Central Storage System
Establishing a designated, consistent spot for frequently used items can help. This could be a special hook by the door for keys or a bowl on a specific table for glasses. Over time and with gentle reminders, this routine can become a habit and reduce the frequency of misplacement.
Conclusion
While finding hidden items can be a frustrating and time-consuming part of caregiving, it is a behavior rooted in the senior's underlying emotional and cognitive struggles. By understanding the psychology behind the action and knowing where people usually hide things, caregivers can adopt proactive strategies. Protecting valuables, using backup items, and creating a supportive environment can significantly reduce stress for everyone involved. The focus should always be on patience, compassion, and maintaining the senior's sense of security, rather than on the lost item itself.
