The Core Reasons Behind Repetitive Calling in Dementia
When a loved one with dementia calls repeatedly, it can be frustrating and concerning for caregivers. However, this behavior is rarely intentional. It's a symptom of the brain changes caused by the disease. Understanding the underlying reasons is the first step toward managing it effectively. These calls are a form of communication, signaling an unmet need that the person can no longer express in a typical way.
1. Memory Impairment and Time Confusion
The most straightforward reason is short-term memory loss. A person with dementia may simply forget that they have already called. They might have a concern, ask a question, receive an answer, and then forget the conversation ever happened just minutes later. This can lead to a loop of calling with the same question or concern.
- Forgetting Previous Calls: They genuinely don't recall speaking with you.
- Losing Track of Time: Their internal clock is disrupted. They may not know if it's morning or evening, or whether they spoke to you five minutes or five days ago.
- Inability to Retain New Information: The answer you provide isn't stored in their memory, prompting them to ask again.
2. Emotional and Psychological Needs
Beyond memory loss, deep-seated emotional needs often drive repetitive behaviors. The world can feel like a confusing and frightening place for someone with dementia, and a phone call is a lifeline to a familiar, comforting presence.
- Loneliness and Boredom: As their world shrinks due to the disease, feelings of isolation can become overwhelming. Calling a loved one provides social interaction and a sense of connection.
- Anxiety and Fear: They may feel anxious, scared, or insecure and are seeking reassurance that they are safe and not alone. The sound of a familiar voice can be incredibly soothing.
- Need for Routine: The act of calling may have been a part of their daily routine for decades. They may revert to this ingrained habit for comfort and structure when other routines fall away.
Practical Strategies for Caregivers
Responding to these calls requires patience, empathy, and a strategic approach. The goal is to address the underlying need, not just to stop the calls. Punishing or scolding the individual is counterproductive and will likely increase their anxiety.
Step-by-Step Response Guide
- Stay Calm and Reassuring: Answer the phone with a warm, calm tone. Avoid showing frustration, as they can often pick up on emotional cues even if they don't understand the words.
- Listen and Identify the Need: Listen to what they are saying. Are they asking what time it is? Are they lonely? Are they worried about something specific? Respond to the emotion behind the words. For example, if they sound scared, say, "It sounds like you're worried. I want you to know that you are safe."
- Provide Simple, Clear Answers: Don't over-explain or get into a lengthy debate about whether they've already called. A short, simple answer is best.
- Redirect and Engage: After answering their question, gently try to redirect their attention to another activity. Suggest listening to music, looking at a photo album, or having a snack.
- Use Visual Cues: Place a large-print clock and a calendar in a prominent location. You can also use a whiteboard to write down important information, such as, "Mom is visiting at 2 PM today," or "We spoke on the phone at 10 AM."
For more in-depth strategies, the Alzheimer's Association provides excellent resources on managing communication challenges.
Environmental vs. Responsive Strategies
It's helpful to compare proactive environmental changes with in-the-moment responsive techniques.
| Strategy Type | Approach | Examples |
|---|---|---|
| Environmental (Proactive) | Modifying the person's surroundings and routine to reduce triggers. | Establishing a consistent daily schedule, ensuring regular social interaction, labeling items in the house, using a whiteboard for reminders. |
| Responsive (In-the-Moment) | How you react to the behavior when it occurs. | Answering calmly, offering reassurance, validating their feelings, redirecting their attention to a pleasant activity. |
When to Seek Professional Help
While these strategies can be very effective, there are times when professional help is needed. If the repetitive calling is accompanied by severe anxiety, agitation, delusions, or if it's causing significant distress for either the individual or the caregiver, it's important to consult their doctor. A medical professional can rule out other potential causes, such as urinary tract infections (UTIs) which can cause sudden behavioral changes, or adjust medications if necessary.
Conclusion: The Call for Connection
Ultimately, when a person with dementia calls repeatedly, they are reaching out for connection. They are trying to navigate a world that no longer makes sense, using the tools they still have. By responding with empathy and addressing their underlying needs for safety, comfort, and love, caregivers can turn a potentially frustrating behavior into a moment of meaningful connection. It's not about the content of the call; it's about the comfort that the call itself provides.
