How to know when a parent has dementia?: Recognizing the Early Warning Signs

According to the Alzheimer's Association, dementia affects nearly 7 million Americans in 2025, a number that is projected to increase significantly as the population ages. Learning how to know when a parent has dementia is a critical first step for seeking an early diagnosis, which provides more time to plan, access treatment, and find support.

Quick Summary

This guide outlines the key indicators of dementia in older adults, differentiating them from normal age-related changes. It covers cognitive and behavioral red flags, how to approach a sensitive conversation with a parent, and the importance of a professional diagnosis for proper care and planning.

Key Points

• Differentiate from normal aging: Normal aging involves minor memory lapses, while dementia causes persistent and progressive cognitive decline that disrupts daily life.

• Recognize key symptoms: Watch for memory loss affecting daily activities, difficulty with familiar tasks, challenges in planning, and confusion with time and place.

• Identify behavioral changes: Pay attention to uncharacteristic mood swings, increased anxiety or suspicion, and withdrawal from social activities.

• Approach the conversation with care: Use empathy and clear communication when talking to a parent about your concerns. Avoid accusatory language and offer support.

• Seek a professional diagnosis: Consult a doctor to rule out other treatable conditions and get an accurate diagnosis. This often involves a primary care physician, specialists, and various tests.

• Enable early planning: An early diagnosis allows the family and parent to make important decisions about legal, financial, and care matters together.

How Normal Aging Differs from Dementia

It is common for older adults to experience some mild forgetfulness, such as occasionally misplacing keys or forgetting a name, but these lapses do not interfere significantly with daily life. Dementia, however, involves a persistent and progressive decline in cognitive abilities that affects a person's ability to function and maintain their independence. The key is to recognize not just the presence of a symptom, but its severity and impact over time.

The ten warning signs of dementia

Early symptoms can be subtle and vary by type, but the Alzheimer's Association identifies ten common warning signs to watch for. If you notice a persistent pattern of these changes in your parent, it may be a sign of dementia.

• Memory loss that disrupts daily life. Forgetting recently learned information, repeating questions, or needing frequent reminders for things they used to handle independently.
• Challenges in planning or solving problems. Having trouble following a familiar recipe, keeping track of monthly bills, or concentrating.
• Difficulty completing familiar tasks. Forgetting how to drive to a familiar location, organize a grocery list, or use a TV remote.
• Confusion with time or place. Losing track of dates, seasons, or the passage of time. Forgetting where they are or how they got there.
• Trouble understanding visual images and spatial relationships. Experiencing difficulty with balance, judging distance, reading, or distinguishing colors.
• New problems with words in speaking or writing. Struggling to follow or join a conversation, repeating themselves, or calling familiar objects by the wrong name.
• Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps. Putting objects in unusual places, such as an iron in the freezer, and being unable to retrace steps to find them.
• Decreased or poor judgment. Making poor decisions with money, or neglecting personal grooming and hygiene.
• Withdrawal from work or social activities. Losing interest in hobbies, social activities, or favorite teams because of difficulty following conversations.
• Changes in mood and personality. Becoming confused, suspicious, depressed, fearful, anxious, or easily upset.

Normal Aging vs. Signs of Dementia: A Comparison

Area of Change	Normal Age-Related Change	Signs of Dementia
Memory	Forgetting names or appointments occasionally, but remembering them later.	Forgetting recently learned information or repeating questions constantly.
Problem-Solving	Making occasional errors when managing finances or household bills.	Inability to manage a budget, follow a recipe, or keep track of bills.
Familiar Tasks	Occasionally needing help with microwave settings or a remote control.	Forgetting how to complete routine, lifelong tasks.
Judgment	Making a bad decision once in a while.	Showing poor judgment in decision-making or neglecting grooming.
Spatial Awareness	Vision changes due to conditions like cataracts.	Difficulty judging distance, determining color contrast, or reading.

What to Do If You Suspect Dementia

If you have noticed consistent signs, it is important to take action. An early and accurate diagnosis is crucial for several reasons:

• Rule out other conditions. Many treatable conditions can mimic dementia symptoms, such as depression, vitamin deficiencies, or thyroid issues. A doctor can help determine the actual cause.
• Enable early treatment. While there is no cure for most forms of dementia, treatments and therapies can help manage symptoms and slow progression, improving quality of life.
• Plan for the future. An early diagnosis allows the family and the parent to make legal, financial, and care-planning decisions together while the parent can still participate.

Initiating the conversation with your parent

This can be a difficult and emotional conversation. Approaching it with empathy and respect is key.

1. Prepare yourself. Choose a calm, quiet, and familiar place. Stick to factual, specific examples of behavior you have noticed, avoiding accusatory language.
2. Express concern, not judgment. Frame your observations as a concern for their well-being. For example, say, "I've noticed you've been forgetting appointments, and I'm a little concerned," rather than, "You keep forgetting things".
3. Encourage a doctor's visit. Suggest a check-up for a specific, non-threatening reason, such as reviewing medications or checking blood pressure. Offer to accompany them to the appointment.
4. Involve a doctor. If your parent is resistant, you may need to speak with their doctor beforehand to share your observations. With your parent's permission, the doctor can also discuss their concerns.

Seeking a Professional Diagnosis

A diagnosis of dementia is not based on one single test. Instead, it is a comprehensive evaluation that may include several steps.

1. Primary care physician visit: Your parent's doctor is the first step. They will review the medical history, current symptoms, and medications, and perform a physical exam and basic cognitive tests.
2. Specialist referral: Depending on the results, the doctor may refer your parent to a specialist, such as a neurologist, geriatrician, or geriatric psychiatrist, for a more in-depth assessment.
3. Neuropsychological testing: This evaluates memory, problem-solving, language, and attention skills to identify specific areas of cognitive decline.
4. Brain scans: Imaging tests like MRI or CT scans can rule out other issues such as strokes, tumors, or fluid buildup. PET scans can detect abnormal proteins associated with diseases like Alzheimer's.
5. Lab tests: Blood and urine tests can help rule out other conditions that cause dementia-like symptoms, such as thyroid problems or vitamin deficiencies.

Conclusion

Identifying the difference between normal age-related changes and the more significant, life-disrupting signs of dementia is the first step in supporting a parent through a challenging journey. While the process can be difficult, seeking an early diagnosis is crucial for exploring treatment options, preparing for the future, and ensuring your parent receives the best possible care. Approaching the situation with patience, empathy, and clear communication can help ease the process for everyone involved and pave the way for a well-informed care plan.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the first signs of dementia in a parent?

Early signs of dementia in a parent often include memory loss that disrupts daily life, such as repeating questions, forgetting recent events, or needing reminders for tasks they used to do independently.

Is forgetting things always a sign of dementia?

No, forgetting things is not always a sign of dementia. Occasional memory lapses, like forgetting a name but remembering it later, are a normal part of aging. Dementia involves a more severe and consistent decline in cognitive abilities that affects daily functioning.

How can I tell the difference between normal aging and dementia?

The main difference is the impact on daily life. While normal aging might cause minor forgetfulness, dementia symptoms interfere with a person's ability to live independently, manage finances, or perform familiar tasks.

How do I start a conversation with my parent about memory concerns?

Approach the conversation with empathy and choose a calm, familiar setting. Focus on specific behaviors you've observed out of concern for their well-being, not as an accusation. Suggest a doctor's visit to review their health and offer to go with them.

What is the process for diagnosing dementia?

Diagnosing dementia involves a comprehensive evaluation. It starts with a primary care doctor and can include a physical exam, cognitive tests, blood work, and potential referral to a specialist like a neurologist for more advanced testing.

What should I do after noticing potential signs of dementia?

The first step is to schedule an appointment with your parent's primary care physician. It's helpful to go with them and share a list of the specific symptoms and behavioral changes you've observed.

Are there different types of dementia?

Yes, dementia is an umbrella term for various conditions. Common types include Alzheimer's disease (the most common), vascular dementia, dementia with Lewy bodies, and frontotemporal dementia.