The Challenge of a Changing Reality
Watching a loved one experience dementia is like watching a landscape slowly change. At first, the shifts are subtle—a forgotten name, a misplaced object. Over time, the terrain becomes unfamiliar. For family members, especially those not involved in daily care, this progression can be confusing, frustrating, and heartbreaking. They may not understand why their loved one can remember a story from 50 years ago but not what they ate for breakfast. This disconnect in understanding can lead to tension, impatience, and misguided expectations. Explaining this shifting reality is one of the most difficult tasks a primary caregiver faces. The disease isn't linear, and good days can create false hope, while bad days can bring despair. Finding a common language and framework is essential for unifying the family's approach to care.
A Structured Approach: Using Staging Systems
The single most effective way to help family members understand the progression of dementia is to use a recognized staging system. Dementia is not a single state but a progressive journey. Medical professionals use frameworks to classify the stages of cognitive decline, and sharing this information can provide families with a vital roadmap. These systems depersonalize the symptoms, attributing them to the disease's advancement rather than a personal failing or intentional behavior by the loved one.
The most widely used system is the Global Deterioration Scale (GDS), also known as the Reisberg Scale. It breaks dementia progression into seven distinct stages, from normal cognition to very severe decline. By associating specific behaviors and abilities with each stage, family members can anticipate future changes, adjust their expectations, and provide more appropriate support.
The 7 Stages of the Global Deterioration Scale (GDS)
Introducing your family to this scale can be a lightbulb moment. It provides structure to chaos. Here is a breakdown you can share:
- Stage 1: No Cognitive Decline. The individual is mentally healthy, with no memory problems or other symptoms of dementia.
- Stage 2: Very Mild Cognitive Decline (Age-Associated Memory Impairment). The person may feel like they are having memory lapses—forgetting familiar words or the location of everyday objects. These symptoms are not generally evident to loved ones or medical professionals.
- Stage 3: Mild Cognitive Decline (Mild Cognitive Impairment). Others begin to notice deficiencies. Common difficulties include trouble finding the right word or name, decreased ability to remember names when introduced to new people, and losing or misplacing a valuable object. Performance on memory tests is affected, and planning or organizing becomes more difficult.
- Stage 4: Moderate Cognitive Decline (Mild Dementia). At this stage, a careful medical interview should be able to detect clear-cut deficiencies. These include decreased knowledge of recent events, impaired ability to perform challenging mental arithmetic (e.g., counting backward from 100 by 7s), and a reduced capacity for complex tasks like planning dinner for guests or paying bills.
- Stage 5: Moderately Severe Cognitive Decline (Moderate Dementia). The individual needs help with day-to-day activities. They may become unable to recall their own address or telephone number, become confused about where they are or the date, and have trouble with less challenging mental arithmetic. However, they usually retain knowledge about themselves and their family and require no assistance with eating or using the toilet.
- Stage 6: Severe Cognitive Decline (Moderately Severe Dementia). Memory worsens, personality changes may emerge, and individuals need extensive help with daily activities. They may lose awareness of recent experiences, forget the names of their spouse or primary caregiver, and have difficulty with personal history. They often need help getting dressed properly and may experience disruptions in their sleep/wake cycle.
- Stage 7: Very Severe Cognitive Decline (Severe Dementia). This is the final stage. Individuals lose the ability to respond to their environment, the ability to speak, and, ultimately, the ability to control movement. They need help with most of their daily personal care, including eating and using the toilet. They may lose their ability to smile or to sit without support.
For more in-depth information and resources, the Alzheimer's Association is an invaluable tool for families.
Comparing Communication Methods
While staging systems are highly effective, they can be combined with other methods. Here’s how different approaches stack up:
| Method | Pros | Cons | Best For |
|---|---|---|---|
| Staging Systems | Provides a clear, scientific framework; manages expectations; reduces blame. | Can feel clinical; progression isn't always perfectly linear. | All family members, especially those who are analytical or struggling with expectations. |
| Personal Journaling | Creates an emotional record; highlights subtle changes over time; personalizes the journey. | Subjective; can be emotionally draining to write and read. | Close family members who want to understand the day-to-day emotional and practical impact. |
| Photo/Video Timelines | A powerful visual tool; can show changes in awareness and physical ability. | Can be very confronting and sad to review. | Visually-oriented family members or to show a long-term progression in a tangible way. |
| Doctor's Explanation | Authoritative; provides a medical diagnosis and prognosis; allows for Q&A. | Limited time; medical jargon can be confusing; may not be accessible to all family. | The initial family meeting after a diagnosis is confirmed. |
Practical Tips for Family Conversations
When you decide to have this conversation, how you approach it matters just as much as the information you present.
- Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a calm, private setting where you won't be rushed. Avoid bringing it up during a holiday dinner or stressful event.
- Use 'I' Statements: Frame your concerns from your perspective. For example, "I am worried about Mom's safety when she forgets to turn off the stove," is better than, "You need to understand that Mom is a danger."
- Be Patient and Expect Resistance: Some family members may be in denial. They might see their loved one on a 'good day' and dismiss your concerns. Present the information calmly and be prepared to revisit the conversation.
- Focus on a Team Approach: Emphasize that you are all in this together for the well-being of your loved one. Use inclusive language like "we" and "us." The goal is to build a unified support system.
- Share Resources: Provide articles, links to the staging scales, and information about local support groups. This allows family members to process the information in their own time.
Conclusion: Building a Bridge of Understanding
Ultimately, what is one way to help family members understand the progression of dementia? It is to provide a clear, compassionate, and structured framework that removes blame and fear. Using the 7-stage Global Deterioration Scale acts as that bridge, transforming a confusing and emotional experience into a comprehensible journey. It allows everyone to get on the same page, adjust their roles and expectations, and, most importantly, provide the best possible care for the person at the center of it all. It fosters empathy by showing that the person is not their disease; they are living with a disease that has a predictable, albeit difficult, path.